"On Top OF Old Smokey, All Covered With Blood..."

[Michael P]

I got suspended. (http://my.earthlink.net/article/nat?guid=20060509/446013c0_3ca6_1552620060509826200295)

SUWANEE, Ga. - A high school student was suspended for five days after singing a spoof of "On Top of Ol' Smokey" that includes lyrics about shooting a teacher.

Beth Ann Cox, 16, a junior at Peachtree Ridge High School, said she had been humming the song during German class but denied singing loudly or directing the lyrics at her teacher, Phil Carroll.

"I'd had a song stuck in my head all day, like the tune of it," she said. "This kid in front of me asked me about the song. So I told him the words. I didn't say them loudly."Times, they have a-changed. I can't think of a single person I knew when I was a kid who didn't sing this song at one time or another. Granted, not at the age of 16, but still, nobody ever got suspended for it.

[Winslow]

Yeah, we used to sing Ta La La . . . sumthin' or other . . . about throwing our teacher in the bay and she scared the sharks away . . .

Times have changed.

[JeffreyWKramer]

Times, they have a-changed. I can't think of a single person I knew when I was a kid who didn't sing this song at one time or another. Granted, not at the age of 16, but still, nobody ever got suspended for it.

They have changed, for sure. Given how many fights I got into during my school years, I'd have been expelled for sure if schools had the same policies then they have now.

Hell, probably half the boys in my high school carried a pocket knife or lock-blade hunting knife. In rural Iowa at the time, that was just par for the course - a knife was a tool and you kept a knife on your person just like you kept a jack and spare tire in the trunk of your car.

[BoosterBronze]

Whatever happened to

On Top of Spaghetti
All covered in cheese
I lost my poor meatball
when somebody sneezed.
Why's everything gotta be so violent?

[Michael P]

Whatever happened to

On Top of Spaghetti
All covered in cheese
I lost my poor meatball
when somebody sneezed.
Why's everything gotta be so violent?
That was passe when I was three.

[Karl J. Barnes]

That was passe when I was three.

If Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes) can sing it, then its still good.

[Expletive Deleted]

Yeah, we used to sing Ta La La . . . sumthin' or other . . . about throwing our teacher in the bay and she scared the sharks away . . .Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay
We have no school today
Our teacher passed away
She died of tooth decay (ALT: We shot her yesterday)
We threw her in the bay
She scared the sharks away
She's never coming out (ALT: And when we pulled her out)
She smells like sauerkraut

Ah, good times.

[Matt Algren]

The article mentions previous 'differences' with the teacher. I wonder what they are. We don't have a heckuva lot of information, but it's certainly possible that the suspension is justified.

[Lone Ranger]

Do they even sell these anymore?


http://www.victoryfireworks.com/Sparklers/Sparklers_Schoolhouses_Images/Burning_Schoolhouse.JPG

[BoosterBronze]

The article mentions previous 'differences' with the teacher. I wonder what they are. We don't have a heckuva lot of information, but it's certainly possible that the suspension is justified.

They had differences all right, the teacher saw herself as alive, and the student saw her DEAD!!

[BoosterBronze]

Glory Glory Hallejueah,
Teacher hit me with a rulah,
I hit her in the bean,
with a rotten tangerine,
now my teacher don't teach no mooooore.

[Slam_Bradley]

Glory Glory Hallejueah,
Teacher hit me with a rulah,
I hit her in the bean,
with a rotten tangerine,
now my teacher don't teach no mooooore.


It was "met her at the door, with a loaded .44" where I came from.

[Michael P]

It was "met her at the door, with a loaded .44" where I came from.
"Met her at the bank with a loaded army tank."

[K'Nort]

"Hit her in the butt with a rotten coconut."

But we had the tank and .44 versions too.

[Puma]

I'm lookin over, my dead dog Rover
that I ran over with the mow'er
one leg is missing, the other is gone,
the third leg is scattered, all over the lawn.
No use explainin' the one remainin'
it's hanging on the kitchen door

oh, I'm looking over, my dead dog Rover
who I ran over with the mow'er

PETA would hate me

[K'Nort]

I'm lookin over, my dead dog Rover
that I ran over with the mow'er
one leg is missing, the other is gone,
the third leg is scattered, all over the lawn.
No use explainin' the one remainin'
it's hanging on the kitchen door

oh, I'm looking over, my dead dog Rover
who I ran over with the mow'er

PETA would hate me

They used to regularly play that on Dr Demento.

[Puma]

They used to regularly play that on Dr Demento.

yup. and we sang it religiously on every school field trip, that at the modified "On top of old smokey"

[west3man]

I got suspended. (http://my.earthlink.net/article/nat?guid=20060509/446013c0_3ca6_1552620060509826200295)

Times, they have a-changed. I can't think of a single person I knew when I was a kid who didn't sing this song at one time or another. Granted, not at the age of 16, but still, nobody ever got suspended for it.
I've never heard of the bloody version but it seems that THAT's the version the kid was suspended for singing.

[K'Nort]

yup. and we sang it religiously on every school field trip, that at the modified "On top of old smokey"

And great green gobs etc?

[Grazzt]

Joy to the world
The school burnt down
And all the teachers died.
What happened to the bodies
We flushed them down the potty

The last two lines were sometimes substituted for "Except for Mr. Greer/ We shot him in the rear."

[Puma]

And great green gobs etc?
of greasy grimey gopher guts!

[Michael P]

Joy to the world
The school burnt down
And all the teachers died.
What happened to the bodies
We flushed them down the potty

The last two lines were sometimes substituted for "Except for Mr. Greer/ We shot him in the rear."
Our lines went "Joy to the world/The teacher's dead/We barbecued her head."

[BoosterBronze]

What a bunch of sick freaks we all were. :)

[TinMan]

Our lines went "Joy to the world/The teacher's dead/We barbecued her head."

So was ours, cept we were fucked up kids, so it usually finished:

So we took her fuckin body
and flushed it down the potty
and round and round it goes
and round and round it goes.

Also in honor of the "dog" song Puma listed:

Old mother Hubbard went to her cupboard
to get her poor dog a bone,
but when she bent over, rover took over
and gave her a bone of his own

...ah, I love that poem

[Michael P]

So was ours, cept we were fucked up kids, so it usually finished:

So we took her fuckin body
and flushed it down the potty
and round and round it goes
and round and round it goes.

Minus the f-word, that's how we ended ours, too.

[K'Nort]

Also in honor of the "dog" song Puma listed:

Old mother Hubbard went to her cupboard
to get her poor dog a bone,
but when she bent over, rover took over
and gave her a bone of his own

...ah, I love that poem

Yeah, we had that back in the 70s too.

Kids are gruesome.

We'd take dandelions and say "Mama had a baby and it's head popped off" and flick the flower off the stem with our thumbs.

[BoosterBronze]

Becuase of the fond memories this thread is producing of my own school years, I'm going to chill out today and ease my "no tolerance" policy for profanity amongst my students.

Just for the day.

[Puma]

and people wonder why I laugh when they say childhood is a time of innocence and kindness...

I'm very in touch with my inner child and I know she was, and is, a hellion

[Matt Algren]

Becuase of the fond memories this thread is producing of my own school years, I'm going to chill out today and ease my "no tolerance" policy for profanity amongst my students.

Just for the day.
fuck
_________

[TinMan]

Yeah, we had that back in the 70s too.

Kids are gruesome.

We'd take dandelions and say "Mama had a baby and it's head popped off" and flick the flower off the stem with our thumbs.

We used to do that with the dandelions also.

Heres another great poem:

There once was a man from Nantucket
who's dick was so long he could suck it
he said with a grin, as he wiped his chin
"If my mouth were a cunt I could fuck it!"

[BoosterBronze]

fuck
_________

TO THE ASSISTANT PRINCIPAL WITH YOU YOU LITTLE BASTARD!!!!

ahem...

sorry. Habit.

[Dennis K]

If Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes) can sing it, then its still good.


I second this post.

[Sanagi]

"Hit her in the butt with a rotten coconut."
This is clearly the superior version. The poetry, the subtle, euphonious charm... Delectable.

(I'm only slightly kidding)

[Expletive Deleted]

of greasy grimey gopher guts!Mutilated monkey meat! Chopped up baby parakeet!

[J Dog]

This thread is making me laugh my ass off!

Too bad the only song I know was already mentioned by Dennis K. (as sung by Nelson):

Joy to the world,
The teachers dead!
We barbecued her head!
What happened to her body?
We flushed it down the potty!
And round and round it goes
And round and round it... goes
(Followed by Lisa's distaste in teacher decapitation)

[J Dog]

Whatever happened to

On Top of Spaghetti
All covered in cheese
I lost my poor meatball
when somebody sneezed.
Why's everything gotta be so violent?
gee. I think it all ended when kids saw a purple dinosaur.

Here's my favorite torch song related to it (as sung by Death in "Grudge Match"):

I hate you,
You hate me,
Let's gang up on Barney,
With A dagger to the heart
And A kick to the head,
Just kill him...
Like so...

Does anyone know "Barney Got Shot by G.I. Joe"?

[Spackling Compound]

Sung to the tune of Frer Jacques...

Marijuana, marijuana,
LSD LSD
Scientists make it
Teachers take it
Why can't we?
Why can't we?

[Grazzt]

Molly, Molly, Molly Brown
Thought no man could take her down
Then along came Jimbo Pete
Two thousand pounds of hanging meat
Made his move and he made it fast
Shoved his pecker up her ass
Molly let out a mighty fart
Blew his pecker half apart.

[Michael P]

Molly, Molly, Molly Brown
Thought no man could take her down
Then along came Jimbo Pete
Two thousand pounds of hanging meat
Made his move and he made it fast
Shoved his pecker up her ass
Molly let out a mighty fart
Blew his pecker half apart.
Mr. Feeney had a weenie, it was ten feet long
So he showed it to the girl next door
She thought it was a snake
So she hit it with a rake
And now it's only three-foot-four.

[Spackling Compound]

Old man Lucas
Had a lot of mucus
Running right out of his nose
He'd pick and pick til it made you sick
and that's how the story goes

....

I'm Popeye the Sailor Man
I live in a garbage can
When I eats my spinach
then I gets to finish
with my dick in the can

[Grazzt]

I'm Popeye the Sailor Man
I live in a garbage can
When I eats my spinach
then I gets to finish
with my dick in the can

I'm Popeye the Sailor Man
I live in a garbage can
I like to go swimmin'
With crosslegged wimmin'
I'm Popeye the Sailor Man *toot* *toot*

[Boldido]

Mutilated monkey meat! Chopped up baby parakeet!
French fried eyeballs rolled on a toilet seat.

[Noah Johnson]

Mine eyes have seen the glory
Of the burning of the school
We have tortured all the teachers
And we've broken every rule
Glory, glory hallelujah
Our truth is marching on!

[Mike Smith]

I remember a "a shot her in the head, and now she lays dead...there's no teacher anymore..." or something like that among many others on the bus as a kid.

All the bus driver would do is "Mehh! Quiet!". I suppose with recent tragedies things like this shouldn't be overlooked these days. Never know what could inspire horrid ideas.

[Donald M.]

Mutilated monkey meat! Chopped up baby parakeet!

French fried eyeballs floating in a toilet seat!

And I forgot my spoon . . .




Also:

Deck the halls with gasoline,
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la,
Light it up and see it gleam,
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la,
Watch the school burn down to ashes,
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la,
Aren't you glad you played with matches,
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Wow, alot of these were about setting fire to school.

[Donald M.]

I remember a "a shot her in the head, and now she lays dead...there's no teacher anymore..." or something like that among many others on the bus as a kid.

All the bus driver would do is "Mehh! Quiet!". I suppose with recent tragedies things like this shouldn't be overlooked these days. Never know what could inspire horrid ideas.

Absolutely. Kids should not have fun. Might give them IDEAS!!!! :eek:

[Puma]

sweet memories, each and every one

[Winslow]

To the tune of of the theme from the T.V. show "Branded" (Chuck Conors and all that) . .

Stranded
Stranded on the Toilet Bowl
Bah Da dum dum
What do you do when your stranded
and there's nothing on the roll?

(repeat)

[Bridge]
You know your a man when you use your hand when your stranded.

(I laughed so hard in 5th grade singing that . . .


- who am I kidding - I laughed my ass off just typing that in)

[Donald M.]

And of course there's that old summer camp standby, the diarrhea song. I spent more time at camp coming up with new verse than doing just about anything else.

[Mike Smith]

And of course there's that old summer camp standby, the diarrhea song. I spent more time at camp coming up with new verse than doing just about anything else.

Wow, I forgot all about that one.

When you're driving in your Chevy then you feel something heavy,
diarrhea, diarrhea,
When you're downtown then you see something brown,
diarrhea, diarrhea,
When you go down a slide then feel something glide
diarrhea, diarrhea,
When your belly starts to hurt then you feel something squirt...

That's enough.

[K'Nort]

And of course there's that old summer camp standby, the diarrhea song. I spent more time at camp coming up with new verse than doing just about anything else.

Y'know, considering we grew up spread all over the country, and there was no internet, it's somehow heartwarming that we still learned all the same sick stuff.

[Puma]

Y'know, considering we grew up spread all over the country, and there was no internet, it's somehow heartwarming that we still learned all the same sick stuff.
let's hear it for summer camps and jamborees

[Dan Apodaca]

Wow, I forgot all about that one.

When you're driving in your Chevy then you feel something heavy,
diarrhea, diarrhea,
When you're downtown then you see something brown,
diarrhea, diarrhea,
When you go down a slide then feel something glide
diarrhea, diarrhea,
When your belly starts to hurt then you feel something squirt...

That's enough.

Never enough.

When you're climbing up a ladder and you hear something splatter,
diarrhea, diarrhea
When you're walking down the hall and you hear something fall,
diarrhea, diarrhea
When you're washing a dish and you feel something squish,
diarrhea, diarrhea
When learning 'bout the continents feels subconsciously ominous,
diarrhea, diarrhea

[Michael P]

Never enough.

When you're climbing up a ladder and you hear something splatter,
diarrhea, diarrhea
When you're walking down the hall and you hear something fall,
diarrhea, diarrhea
When you're washing a dish and you feel something squish,
diarrhea, diarrhea
When learning 'bout the continents feels subconsciously ominous,
diarrhea, diarrhea
When you're slidin' into first and you feel something burst...

[Matt Algren]

When I was in elementary school, we had a teacher who wouldn't let us sing "100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" on the bus because it encouraged drunkenness. She made us sing it with "Coke", which, when you think about it, encourages obesity. It was always weird to me that she'd have trouble with one but not the other.

[J Dog]

Mr. Feeney had a weenie, it was ten feet long
So he showed it to the girl next door
She thought it was a snake
So she hit it with a rake
And now it's only three-foot-four.
The funniest one I have ever read.

Man, we are all sick! :D

[Expletive Deleted]

Mine eyes have seen the glory
Of the burning of the school
We have tortured all the teachers
And we've broken every rule
Glory, glory hallelujah
Our truth is marching on!I remember singing it as:

Mine eyes have seen the glory
Of the burning of the school
We tortured all the teachers
And we broke the Golden Rule
We went down to the office (ALT: We shot the secretary)
And we butchered the principal
The school is burning down!

Glory, glory hallelujah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
Met her at the door with a loaded forty-four
And I don't go to school no more!

[Spike-X]

It was "met her at the door, with a loaded .44" where I came from.
These days that'd probably get you a week's suspension, and possibly being arrested for "making a terroristic threat" or some such nonsense.

[Spackling Compound]

These days that'd probably get you a week's suspension, and possibly being arrested for "making a terroristic threat" or some such nonsense.
Actually, who knows? Some other ones would get a child in suspension as well.
There are some old childhood songs and chants that are very racist. Such as catching black people by their toes and making them pay some restitution of $50.00 per diem if they should cry about it or Chinese thinking it a bit of a joke to urinate in your soft drink or that one that states that black is beautiful, white is fonky and if you don't believe it you must be a honky.

The times have changed...probably for the better.