Write Your Own Family Guy Joke!

[Zack]

After last week's SOUTH PARK revealed how FAMILY GUY'S jokes are written by manatees randomly arranging idea-balls...well, that made me wonder what the YABSers could come up with.

HOW THIS WORKS:

Randomly arrange a number of places, things and pop-cultural figures into a sentence that includes the phrase "that time."

For example:

"Wow, this is more awkward than that time me, Mariette Hartley and a flock of carrier pigeons borrowed a Nintendo Entertainment System from a Nicaraugan shrimp farmer!"

...only, y'know, funny.

BEGIN!

Zack Smith

[PatrickG]

BRIAN: "Oh... Oh geez. I thought we agreed we weren't going to bring up the time Cybil Shepard decided that a Nintendo 'power glove', jury-rigged by MacGuyver would really make her tough enough to take on Mike Tyson..."

*Cut to clip of Cybil Shepard in the Griffen's living room. She has a Nintendo Power Glove on. Tyson approaches, punches her, knocking out one of her front teeth. But wait! She's back up. Tyson bites her ear. She breaks free. Punches Tyson with the power glove. Cut to stock footage of a nuclear explosion.*

[Zack]

You know, I almost made a power glove reference in mine...

I love the Power Glove. It's so bad.

Zack Smith

[PatrickG]

I took mine apart sadly when I heard that it could be used as a VR interface. Unfortunately, I was, like, 7 at the time so I had no clue how to rig the thing up to a PC or how to program virtual reality programs.

[Gaz]

"This is even better than when my great-great-uncle, Winston Griffin, gave his inspiring speech to the troops in WW2..."

"....
"....
"....
"Nazis suck!"

[The Xenos]

Peter: "Oh man, this is even worse than that time that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles made me stop sining that song I like."

Cut to Peter sining the Numa Numa song (by O Zone) like the Numa Numa kid and then the Tutles show up and threaten him with their ninja weapons. Peter slowly stops sining. "Maaaaii... ya... ha.. ha?"

[Sean Walsh]

"Wow, this is more awkward than that time me, Mariette Hartley and a flock of carrier pigeons borrowed a Nintendo Entertainment System from a Nicaraugan shrimp farmer!"

*cut to Peter standing in a field with all of those things*

"Why couldn't you have just KEPT US CANCELLED, FOX NETWORK?!?!?!?!"

:p

[Matt Algren]

So it's basically MadLibs?

[Sean Walsh]

"Oh man, this is worse than that time FedEx misdelivered that package of crack cocaine."

*flashback - Peter answers the door*

Peter: Hello?
FedEx guy: Hi. Package for ya. Please sign.
Peter: Sure. [signs] There we........hmmm. [shakes package around] What is this? Sand? Pop rocks?

[stops and opens the package - and crack cocaine pours out all over the floor]

Peter: Is.......is that crack cocaine?!?

[all are aghast, and the FedEx guy rechecks the label]

FedEx guy: Oh geez, I'm so sorry!! This package isn't for you......it's for John Moschitta.

Peter: Oh. [pause] So THAAAT's how he does it...

Brian: Hey Peter, what's--OH LORDY LORDY!! HEAVEN HAS ANSWERED MAH PRAYERS!!!!

[goes nose deep into the coke]

[Gaz]

Anyone else think we've got the beginnings of a half-decent episode here?:D

[Screwtape]

Stewie: This is more humiliating than that time I was accidentally drafted into the Justice League of America.

CUT TO:

INT. WATCHTOWER - DAY.

SUPERMAN, BATMAN, WONDER WOMAN, AQUAMAN, GREEN LANTERN, and MARTIAN MANHUNTER all sit around the table with the JLA logo.

STEWIE: Well, I understand that, of course, but I think I can hold my own against, well. The fish guy, for example. I mean what can he do? Really? Really, what could he possibly do?

AQUAMAN: I can communicate with the part of your brain that evolved from your fish ancestors and give you a crippling seizure.

STEWIE: Oh, sure, that's what you say, but I think that when the chips are down, you'll all see who's really AAAH! AAH! AAAAAAAH!

STEWIE rolls around on the floor in agony. THE LEAGUE watches impassively. Then SUPERMAN stifles a chuckle, can't contain himself, and finally bursts out laughing. The REST OF THE LEAGUE follows suit, except for MARTIAN MANHUNTER.

MARTIAN MANHUNTER: I can't believe you're all laughing at him. This poor child is obviously in incredible pain.

WONDER WOMAN: Like your mom!

The REST OF THE LEAGUE laughs even harder. MARTIAN MANHUNTER starts to walk away. STEWIE continues to roll on the ground in agony.

BATMAN: Oh, no, dude, she was just kidding. She was totally just kidding. C'mon. Come on back. Come on back, dude.

MARTIAN MANHUNTER: She knows my mom's in the hospital.

WONDER WOMAN: God, can't you ever take a joke?

GREEN LANTERN: (gasping for breath from laughing) Hey, hey... Hey, this kid's starting to bleed out of his eyes... hahahaha.... has anyone got a tongue depressor?

THE FLASH zips in with a tongue depressor.

-----

So that was a long way to go for a joke.

[Azrael52]

Great, JLA sequence.

Here's mine.


Chris: Da-ad, there's an evil monkey in my closet.

Peter, humoring him: Oh Mr. Evil Monkey, please come out of the closet.

Evil Monkey *shrugs* rips off entire Evil Monkey facade and reveals himself to be Tom Cruise. Comes out. Then does the Evil Monkey grimace and points.

[Spackling Compound]

Randomly arrange a number of places, things and pop-cultural figures into a sentence that includes the phrase "that time."

SCENE: Eating Contest in Quahog.
Peter: "Oh Gad, I'm competing with a kid. Reminds me of that time I was with Ron Ely."
CUT SCENE to Tarzan (tv series from the 60's).

Ron (frustrated): "Ok, Peter. Just read the script as written. JESUS!"
Peter (in loin cloth): "Ehh. Still not comfortable with this line. Not sure why Jai would befriend a lion. It seems sort of ridiculous."
Ron: "Christ BEEEEEEEEP would you just read the damn line???"
Peter: "Ehhhh...Me not leave without lion. Oh, I can't do it. I just can't."
Ron: "Can we get some Mexican kid in here who'd be glad to work for a jar of Skippy and a chance to pet a monkey?"

Peter is picked up like a cardboard cut out and replaced by the kid actor who portrayed Jai.
Jai (happily): "Me like!"

[Azrael52]

Quagmier: "Vote for Bush? Allllllriiight. Got my chad danglin' Giggidy Giggidy Goo."


Oh, and side note. I just saw a Family Guy video game for this fall.

[stealthwise]

Hahaha, most of those examples are funnier than Family Guy is right now. I LOVE the JLA one.