Guys hate wedding planning...

[Nikita]

...and I totally feel their pain because I'd hate it too.

I went to my comic shop yesterday and I've gotten to know the guys there pretty well. One of them is getting married in September. He's fiance and he have only been engaged a few months but he's already gotten to the point where's he ready to buy a shovel and knock her on the head with it.

He said she emails him every ten minutes at work asking him what he thinks about this set of wedding china, or which color she should make the invitations. It's driving him crazy. She's even got a bid on a tiara on Ebay that she wants to wear for the wedding. She showed him a set of plates and asked him which he liked better. One plate had a two dark lines, one lighter then the other. The other plate also had two dark lines, but they were reversed. To him, they just look like two plates with two dark lines.
I was laughing so hard while he was sharing this with us at the store. I just calmly said, "Welcome to the insane world of women".

I'm more like a guy when it comes to things like this so I could kind of relate to him because I'd be the same way.


Can you relate to my poor friend? Or were you the one who was obsessed with the details and you drove your poor future wife nuts instead because she was the one who didn't care?

[BlairH]

Is that why the majority of Americans are -at best- lukewarm on the concept of gay marriage? 2 guys just being really apathetic with regards to their wedding plans will surely make for a lousy reception.

[Nikita]

Is that why the majority of Americans are -at best- lukewarm on the concept of gay marriage? 2 guys just being really apathetic with regards to their wedding plans will surely make for a lousy reception.


LOL.

But if they're gay (making a big assuming stereotype here), aren't they going to be more like women when planning a wedding? :D

[Gaz]

LOL.

But if they're gay (making a big assuming stereotype here), aren't they going to be more like women when planning a wedding? :D
Well, if we're going by stereotype, wouldn't the lesbians be uninterested? :p

[SUPERECWFAN1]

This is why I'd tell my wife , " Lets go to Vegas baby and get married by Elvis ! "

Course odds are she'd like a big church wedding ect ect. ;)

[BlairH]

As religious as I am, I want to get married somewhere really cool and geeky as opposed to a church. I think the Glasgow Science Center fits the bill quite nicely.

http://www.lummel.de/images/glasgow_reflex.jpg

I'd love a honeymoon in space (zero-G baby!), but the expenses involved make that a pipe dream unfortunately. (imagine being the first couple to shag in space?)

[Michael P]

(imagine being the first couple to shag in space?)
There have been long-term, coed crews for a good three decades now. I'd imagine that particular milestone was passed quite some time ago.

[Deathstroke]

Guys hate wedding planning because people seem to think we REALLY have a say in anything except showing up on time to wherever the wedding is taking place.

And we all know it's about the babe in the dress.

[Michael P]

Guys hate wedding planning because people seem to think we REALLY have a say in anything except showing up on time to wherever the wedding is taking place.

And we all know it's about the babe in the dress.
Yeah, for a woman, the wedding is the most important day of her life. For a man, it's the day before the most important night of his.

[BlairH]

There have been long-term, coed crews for a good three decades now. I'd imagine that particular milestone was passed quite some time ago.

Blast!

All of my dreams are falling apart.

[Michael P]

Then my work here is done.

[Deathstroke]

Yeah, for a woman, the wedding is the most important day of her life. For a man, it's the day before the most important night of his.

Actually it's the end of a man's life.

[Gilda Dent]

Well, if we're going by stereotype, wouldn't the lesbians be uninterested? :p

Nah, lesbians tend to like weddings, though they tend not to be the big white wedding type.

A lot of what people think of as planning for the wedding is actually planning for the reception, and my mother-in-law and I had an absolute blast planning Emily's and my reception.

Gilda

[Jade69/Legolaslady]

My wedding day was more about my mom.... I kind of let her run the show.
Next time (if ever I make myself go through it again) though we're doing it MY WAY.

[Dan Apodaca]

I swear to all that is holy, if my future wife tries to wear a tiara at our wedding, the bitch is getting the boot.

You're not my monarch!

[Gaz]

I swear to all that is holy, if my future wife tries to wear a tiara at our wedding, the bitch is getting the boot.

You're not my monarch!
Of course not.

They prefer "goddess" or "mistress".

[Dan Apodaca]

Of course not.

They prefer "goddess" or "mistress".

No, I'm not going for that either. My wife won't get worship, she'll get respect, admiration, love, compassion, and all those other good healthy things.

But I've done enough woman-worshipping in my life. It's not condusive to my happiness.

And I also will never, ever use that weird fantasy language or sound like the "lovahs" from SNL.

[BlairH]

I swear to all that is holy, if my future wife tries to wear a tiara at our wedding, the bitch is getting the boot.


I think tiaras look really cute on some girls. I certianly wouldn't mind it if she (my hypothetical wife of course) chose to wear one. On the condition that I can carry a King's sword to the wedding -naturally-.

[Gaz]

No, I'm not going for that either. My wife won't get worship, she'll get respect, admiration, love, compassion, and all those other good healthy things.

But I've done enough woman-worshipping in my life. It's not condusive to my happiness.

And I also will never, ever use that weird fantasy language or sound like the "lovahs" from SNL.
A) Joke.
B) Good for you. Do whatever's best for you and the hypothetical her to be as happy as possible. Everyone approaches love differently.

[Dan Apodaca]

A) Joke.

Sorry, I know.

I guess I need to work on not sounding so serious in my general tone. But I refuse to use smileys!

[DLFerguson]

Guys hate wedding planning because people seem to think we REALLY have a say in anything except showing up on time to wherever the wedding is taking place.

And we all know it's about the babe in the dress.

Word. My wife did all of the planning with her mother and her maid of honor. The only thing I was expected to do was show up on time and sober and that was it.

[StoneGold]

Oh, I'm totally planning mine.

http://www.obsessedwithwrestling.com/pictures/03/takersteph.jpg

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Actually I'd love to have itin a nice church. Just like my favorite all time music video !





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgumzeKaBH8&search=Guns%20n%20Roses%20%3A%20November%20Rain

[darkkeeperjr]

Word. My wife did all of the planning with her mother and her maid of honor. The only thing I was expected to do was show up on time and sober and that was it.

Whoa! you got to show up sober ? Is that a rule or something? Nobody told me that. I was told to just be there on time.

[StoneGold]

Actually I'd love to have itin a nice church. Just like my favorite all time music video !





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgumzeKaBH8&search=Guns%20n%20Roses%20%3A%20November%20Rain
I think you're confused. This is your favorite music video of all time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi2CfuqcUGE

[Deathstroke]

Word. My wife did all of the planning with her mother and her maid of honor. The only thing I was expected to do was show up on time and sober and that was it.

Did you have a bachelor party, because that seems to be a thing of the past as well.

[Spike-X]

He said she emails him every ten minutes at work asking him what he thinks about this set of wedding china, or which color she should make the invitations. It's driving him crazy. She's even got a bid on a tiara on Ebay that she wants to wear for the wedding. She showed him a set of plates and asked him which he liked better. One plate had a two dark lines, one lighter then the other. The other plate also had two dark lines, but they were reversed. To him, they just look like two plates with two dark lines.

Insane shit like this is just one reason why I'm not interested in getting married. Seriously, I would go mental if I had to pretend to care about that kind of trivial crap for a year or so.

[Chiasm]

Hopefully I'm never dumb or insane enough to get married again but if I did I'd be pushing for a quickie Vegas wedding all the way.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Hopefully I'm never dumb or insane enough to get married again but if I did I'd be pushing for a quickie Vegas wedding all the way.


Nothin says love like gettin married by THE KING!! :D

[Shellhead]

...and I totally feel their pain because I'd hate it too.

I went to my comic shop yesterday and I've gotten to know the guys there pretty well. One of them is getting married in September. He's fiance and he have only been engaged a few months but he's already gotten to the point where's he ready to buy a shovel and knock her on the head with it.

He said she emails him every ten minutes at work asking him what he thinks about this set of wedding china, or which color she should make the invitations. It's driving him crazy. She's even got a bid on a tiara on Ebay that she wants to wear for the wedding. She showed him a set of plates and asked him which he liked better. One plate had a two dark lines, one lighter then the other. The other plate also had two dark lines, but they were reversed. To him, they just look like two plates with two dark lines.
I was laughing so hard while he was sharing this with us at the store. I just calmly said, "Welcome to the insane world of women".

I'm more like a guy when it comes to things like this so I could kind of relate to him because I'd be the same way.


Can you relate to my poor friend? Or were you the one who was obsessed with the details and you drove your poor future wife nuts instead because she was the one who didn't care?

A certain amount of ceremony and celebration is important at the start of a marriage, so that the couple *feels* married afterwards. But modern Bridezillas have totally ruined the concept, with obsessive and expensive attention to details that will have nothing to do with the success of the actual marriage. Maybe the divorce rate would be lower if women paid more attention to the relationship and less attention to the frankly trivial details of the wedding and reception. Some men put up with this crap, but an increasing number won't even bother getting married in the first place.

[Solaris]

...and I totally feel their pain because I'd hate it too.

I went to my comic shop yesterday and I've gotten to know the guys there pretty well. One of them is getting married in September. He's fiance and he have only been engaged a few months but he's already gotten to the point where's he ready to buy a shovel and knock her on the head with it.

He said she emails him every ten minutes at work asking him what he thinks about this set of wedding china, or which color she should make the invitations. It's driving him crazy. She's even got a bid on a tiara on Ebay that she wants to wear for the wedding. She showed him a set of plates and asked him which he liked better. One plate had a two dark lines, one lighter then the other. The other plate also had two dark lines, but they were reversed. To him, they just look like two plates with two dark lines.
I was laughing so hard while he was sharing this with us at the store. I just calmly said, "Welcome to the insane world of women".

I'm more like a guy when it comes to things like this so I could kind of relate to him because I'd be the same way.


Can you relate to my poor friend? Or were you the one who was obsessed with the details and you drove your poor future wife nuts instead because she was the one who didn't care?


*totally cracking up here*

I feel his pain. Really. Only, he's not getting it in full yet---wait till his mother and her mother get into the mix. Arrgh. *pulls hair out*

See, here's the deal:

To her, The Day Must Be Perfect. Further, it Must Be the Fairy Tale Wedding. Biggest way he can mitigate the effects of this is twofold:

a) Threaten to carry her off to a cow pasture and get married while barefoot and wearing gunny sacks (feed sacks, you know, burlap).

b) Reassure her, many many times, that the TRULY IMPORTANT part about the Wedding Day is that they will be joining their lives together. Emphasize that, no matter whether she wears a Paris ballgown or a pink tutu, whether the florist accidentally delivers funeral flowers, or the best man sits on the wedding cake... NOTHING---NOT ONE THING---can mar the beauty of that moment when she looks into his eyes and says "I do," because he will be gaining the most precious thing he ever wanted: a partner, his lifelong best friend, and a beautiful and desirable lover who fulfills his every fantasy, and shares his heart in a way no one else ever will, or ever could.

If the first doesn't get her, I guarantee the second will.

Seriously, the best help for "wedding-itis" in a bride is for the groom to keep reminding her what it's really all about, and how little the other stuff truly matters, compared to the overwhelming joy of bonding with one another, for life. Then tell her that if she looks lovely to him in her jeans and t-shirt, she'll certainly take his breath completely away in whatever gown, tiara, etc. that she chooses. As for the dishes, etc., tell her that since he really likes her taste, he's perfectly happy to go with whichever design she likes best---and if she can't decide, just flip a coin. Ditto for wedding invitations, and all the other frou-frau. He *ought* to get involved in choosing the tuxes, because hey---he needs to look good, and be sized, and all that. Only other thing is being involved in planning the honeymoon... because that's the fun and recreation part that every guy can't wait to get to. ;)

[Nikita]

Yeah, if they ever legalize gay marriage and I happen to meet the woman of my dreams (if I've completely given up on men by then that is), I would totally let her wear a tiara if she wanted to. I would be the "guy" in the relationship and she could do the "chick things". LOL.

I guess I'd have fun doing a little bit of the planning for a wedding but since weddings are so damn expensive, it seems silly to me to spend so much money on something that's only for one day. But I think women have been brainwashed by their mothers and grandmothers that they need to spend a ton on a wedding to make it perfect. But then after they get married, the couple will just be fighting about money all the time because they've got a $20,000 dollar wedding bill to pay off! (if the parents didn't pay for it)

I think that's what I've heard is the average price of a wedding these days. $10,000 to $25,000! That's INSANE.

If by some miracle, I do ever get married (to a guy), or have a commitment ceremony (to a girl), the only thing I will insist on is wearing red. I want a blood-red wedding dress. Nothing expensive mind you! And I'll pay for it. I could totally see myself wanting a "goth themed" wedding. That would be awesome. Oh god, I do have a wedding gene! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

But hey, at least I'd keep it as cheap as possible. No freakin' $500 set of wedding china! LOL.

[Spike-X]

Maybe the divorce rate would be lower if women paid more attention to the relationship and less attention to the frankly trivial details of the wedding and reception.

Well spotted.

A lot of women seem to see the wedding as the destination, rather than the start of the journey.

[Nikita]

*totally cracking up here*




Seriously Chris, you should have seen him in the comicshop. We were all laughing at his despair. He's not actually that mad, he's just getting annoyed. The funny thing is, I've never even seen him annoyed. He is such a laid back guy and it was interesting to see him so irritated over something for the first time. Guess wedding planning will do that to even the most docile men. LOL.

Most of the other guys (including the owner) in the shop are married also. (except for a couple of younger guys who are in school)

He didn't even mind that she wanted a tiara. He was just annoyed that she won't get anything else done because she'll be spending all weekend watching Ebay to bid on it. LOL.


Oh lord, poor guy. I'll have to check in with him as the wedding gets closer and give you guys more comical updates.

[Solaris]

Of course not.

They prefer "goddess" or "mistress".


*gets visions of a fetish wedding, with the bride in black latex, 9 inch heels, a bustier, and a riding crop*

*falls over laughing*

Seriously, the whole "wedding" idea has been built up for a very long time as "the most important day in a woman's life," complete with fairy tale emphasis. Some women go for the "classic movie star" mode (sort of Art Deco), but most go for the Romance styling of Medieval tales: and she's the Princess in the story. It's her ONE true day to be the Princess, to be the center of attention. She's Cinderalla at the Ball, winning and dancing with the Handsome Prince.

I don't know if that kind of... underlying drive has been a part of weddings for centuries, or if it's a product of the 20th century... but it's definitely there. And so many mothers, aunts, sisters, best friends, and brides buy completely into it, to the point of taking it to exhorbitant extremes.

Now, I understand the basics of it. I understand how it sings of Romance, of Beauty, of Being Special, of Living a Fairy Tale for one brief day... but this is also Real Life. And with Real Life, it's in the Guarantee for Weddings: "Something WILL Go Wrong with this Wedding." (See the fine print---it's there.) The Bride and Groom's ability to enjoy their wedding comes, in large part, with them being able to focus on the point of it all, and roll with the hitches that come up along the way. Nothing is ever perfect, not even Wedding Day.

For a few, the woman has some kind of outrageous sense of humor... and that's when you get the really strange, yet fun, weddings---like all of them being dressed up as Hee-Haw characters, or the fetish wedding, or getting married on Halloween---stuff like that. :D But for most, they want that one moment in their lives when they can count on being the Movie Star, the Princess, etc.

In some ways, I think it's a way for compensating for unfulfilled dreams. Many young girls dream of being a figure skating champion, a movie star, marrying a prince and becoming a princess... yet very very few ever achieve one of these "romantic positions." Oh, most of them really wouldn't want the *reality* of the life of one of these positions... they just want the glamour, to be thought utterly beautiful, graceful, etc.

I grew up with those culture-inculated fantasies, too. When you've grown up working fast food, doing housework including cleaning toilets, living on a tight budget, plus all the blitz we get about how we can't measure up to whatever super-beauty standards are out there... well, it's easy to see how a girl can start to pin her hopes on having ONE day of glory---especially since the culture encourages it. I too have had dreams of some kind of wonderful romantic wedding, of a day filled with beauty and grace... but I've learned enough in life to see the practical side of it as well, and to remember that the true focus is *getting married*, and that there's TWO people "on the stage," not "The Star and Her Supporting Prince." ;) Seriously, it's not always about that---often, the Prince *does* have a co-star role in her mind... she just wants to have that Perfect, Beautiful, Romantic Moment with him on the most important day of both their lives.

Anyway, to me, that's what's behind the "marriage-itis." And the best cure is for the couple, but especially the bride, to remember this:

Grace, Perfection, Romance, and Love will find you, as you look into his eyes, and he into yours, as you make your vows to one another---and in every look you share thereafter. Everything else is window dressing.

I can't speak for lesbian and gay couples who get married... but I'm willing to bet that, for those who have one or both partners suffering from "wedding-itis," the same thought would work for them, too. :)

[SUPERECWFAN1]

I think you're confused. This is your favorite music video of all time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi2CfuqcUGE


I'll say its again:


GERMANS LOVE DAVID HASSLEHOFF!




Still nothin can beat November Rain.... :p

[Jade69/Legolaslady]

*gets visions of a fetish wedding, with the bride in black latex, 9 inch heels, a bustier, and a riding crop*

*falls over laughing*

that's actually exactly what I want to do i I get married again :P
Instead of kiss when guests click their glasses it means a SPANKIN!!!

[SUPERECWFAN1]

that's actually exactly what I want to do i I get married again :P
Instead of kiss when guests click their glasses it means a SPANKIN!!!


You should watch that video clip. I always wished my bride would walk down in the " Ultra slutty " Weddin Gown. :D




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jgum...November%20Rain

[Jade69/Legolaslady]

You should watch that video clip. I always wished my bride would walk down in the " Ultra slutty " Weddin Gown. :D




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jgum...November%20Rain
I wish I could, but I'm back on dial up at home :( but if its the november rain video I've seen it :)

[DLFerguson]

Whoa! you got to show up sober ? Is that a rule or something? Nobody told me that. I was told to just be there on time.

I've been to two weddings where the groom showed up totally wasted and the pastor refused to perform the ceremony.

[DLFerguson]

Did you have a bachelor party, because that seems to be a thing of the past as well.

Oh, damn skippy I had a bachelor party. Lasted two days in Atlantic City.

[Gilda Dent]

I can't speak for lesbian and gay couples who get married... but I'm willing to bet that, for those who have one or both partners suffering from "wedding-itis," the same thought would work for them, too. :)

Lesbian weddings seldom have the bridezilla component to them. I think that's because once you've abandoned the idea of there being a groom, it becomes easier not to stick so close to the other traditional components.

With my and Emily's Shinto wedding, the biggest hitch was what we were going to wear. Emily was willing to do what Nikita was saying and take the "man" part in the ceremony so that I could be the girl, but her mom would be having none of that, thank you. Really, I think she just didn't like the traditional white robes the Japanese bride wears, but that's really a relatively recent tradition borrowed from Western culture, so we went more old fashioned, with me in a red kimono, and Emily in a gold one.

Gilda

[Dan Apodaca]

I will not be married in a costume! No tiaras and no capes!

[Gaz]

I will not be married in a costume! No tiaras and no capes!
No capes? Why not? Everyone likes to wear a cape!

[Dan Apodaca]

No capes? Why not? Everyone likes to wear a cape!

Because it's a ceremony to celebrate an important part of my life. I'd like to spend it focusing on the person I'm sharing it with, not putting on a show.

or

Not when I want people to respect me, I don't.




Choose your own adventure!

[Michael P]

No capes? Why not? Everyone likes to wear a cape!
He probably doesn't want to get sucked into a jet engine.

[HomerJay]

As a guy, you need to nip things in the bud as soon as the process begins. Right at the beginning I told my wife that I only wanted to have input in:
- The gift registry
- The locations
- The food at the reception
- Choosing the groomsmen

Everything else was her show.