So what's irrational about you?

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

So I met a girl out last night, and we got along fine and all that.
Before we went our seperate ways, I asked for her number. She said sure, and had been wondering when I was going to ask.
All good.
So I haven't rang her yet - have to do it tomorrow now (it's past 10).

Why didn't I ring?
My bizarre, almost pathological, fear of ringing a girl for the first time.
I've been sitting at work, procrastinating to put off the call. I rang a whole bunch of friends, my parents(!) and done everything but make the call.
Hell, I became a bag of nerves everytime I went to.
Every damn girl this happens with.
I even had one send me a text message saying she can't wait to meet up again, and I still went through this - wondering wether or not she really wanted a call.
Actually, I lie, I did make the call, after mentally preparing and all that, and got message bank because she was on another call - and as everyone knows, never start to leave a message on a dates machine without a clear plan, way too much rambling.

What's up with that?
I do fine meeting girls, dating girls, all of that, but the first phone call damn near kills me.
Now I'm sitting here pissed I went through it again, and am having to go through it again tomorrow - and at possibly having lost some momentum (I got the vibe from this girl that calling today would have been a good thing).

Anyone else got bizzare non-sensical hang ups like that?
What's up with them?

[i_mmmchocolate]

I'm not sure if any of this qualifies as irrational but...

-I never touch car door handles with my bare hand. After so many times of being shocked, I cover my hand with my sleeve or jacket.

-I spend too many hours planning out my fantasy EPL team.

-I wash my bed sheets every 3-4 days because the thought of bed bugs creeps me out.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Anyone actually been able to beat an irrational fear?

Or by their nature of being irrational, would this be impossible?

Edit to add:

I just realised I shouldn't even bother calling the girl now.
I mentioned her on CBR, activating the curse, and therefore it's doomed to fail.

[bodie_3_7_ci5]

Anyone actually been able to beat an irrational fear?


I suffer the same irrational fear when making the first phone call or going on a date. The more I procrastinate the worse the fear gets. I've never been able to beat the fear, but I usually have one beer before I make the phone call or go on the first date. It helps to settle my nerves.

[JeffreyWKramer]

Anyone actually been able to beat an irrational fear?

I used to have such a bad phobia of heights and water that I couldn't comfortably walk over even small bridges, and would become absolutely paralyzed at the prospect of driving over large bridges. I got over that mostly by just forcing myself to confront and tolerate it. I also took swimming lessons as an adult, to reduce the fear of water, and went out of my way to challenge the fear of heights by going over bridges, on tall ladders, atop tall buildings, etc.

I still get a severe case of the willies in a few unusual circumstances - there are, for example, some mountain roads I will never drive again, they are simply too harrowing - but these fears no longer impact my daily life to any significant degree. I can do rock climbing and mountain hiking with no problem at all. Skyscraper window-washer would still be a poor choice of career for me, but I can't say I was ever really interested in that job anyhow. Similarly, my worst problem with deep water now is a penchant for getting seasick, but that's a whole different thing than the old phobia.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

I suffer the same irrational fear when making the first phone call or going on a date. The more I procrastinate the worse the fear gets. I've never been able to beat the fear, but I usually have one beer before I make the phone call or go on the first date. It helps to settle my nerves.

We were out drinking till the sun had been up a few hours, so it wasn't really an option for me tonight.

Not a bad idea for the future thoguh.

[Tish-the-Scorpion]

i always have to be armed with some type of weapon.i have a gun in all of my cars and i sleep with a,XD-9 pistol with green laser sight,and a 7'5 inch Mercworx Sniper combat knife up under my pillow.i also have 2 katana swords mounted over my bed (and yes i know how to use them).


this "irrationality" won't change anytime soon.i also advise my siblings to have this "irrationality"

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

this "irrationality" won't change anytime soon.i also advise my siblings to have this "irrationality"

Why?



.

[Tish-the-Scorpion]

Why?



.
uh because its irrational lol...seriously i don't wanna be caught without a weapon.

[BigJayStudd]

i always have to be armed with some type of weapon.i have a gun in all of my cars and i sleep with a,XD-9 pistol with green laser sight,and a 7'5 inch Mercworx Sniper combat knife up under my pillow.i also have 2 katana swords mounted over my bed (and yes i know how to use them).


this "irrationality" won't change anytime soon.i also advise my siblings to have this "irrationality"

Are you Tupac's girl from "Me and my Girlfriend"?

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

uh because its irrational lol...

Touche.


seriously i don't wanna be caught without a weapon.

I'd hate to think in what situation the gun wouldn't be enough and you'd have to go to the blades though.

[Tish-the-Scorpion]

Touche.



I'd hate to think in what situation the gun wouldn't be enough and you'd have to go to the blades though.or the 500 magnums,but i'm scared of them,the deasert eagles aswell.

[Tish-the-Scorpion]

Are you Tupac's girl from "Me and my Girlfriend"?he sure could have used me in las vegas thats for sure.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

or the 500 magnums,but i'm scared of them,the deasert eagles aswell.

Well as I'm afraid of all guns, I imagine I'd be terrified of them.

I see it as quite rational though.

[Aelo]

Well as I'm afraid of all guns, I imagine I'd be terrified of them.

Who doesn't have at least a little fear of guns? I mean, Nobody's tryin' to get shot anytime soon, are they?

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Who doesn't have at least a little fear of guns? I mean, Nobody's tryin' to get shot anytime soon, are they?

I can think of several world leaders who seem to be trying their hardest.

[Tish-the-Scorpion]

I can think of several world leaders who seem to be trying their hardest.
starting with ours

[Aelo]

starting with ours

Ouch. Was that truly necessary? What has he done lately that warrants the threat of physical violence?

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Ouch. Was that truly necessary? What has he done lately that warrants the threat of physical violence?

Been a horrible evil bastard, but that's for another thread.

[Aelo]

Been a horrible evil bastard, but that's for another thread.

Agreed. Lemme get back on topic...

[Nikita]

I'm not sure if any of this qualifies as irrational but...

-I never touch car door handles with my bare hand. After so many times of being shocked, I cover my hand with my sleeve or jacket.

-I spend too many hours planning out my fantasy EPL team.

-I wash my bed sheets every 3-4 days because the thought of bed bugs creeps me out.


That's not irrational.... that's just crazy. ;)



I'm teasing. Sounds like you have OCD. I have it too.

[Dan Apodaca]

I have an insane fear about calling anybody that I don't feel very close with. Obviously, this applies to ordering food, calling to ask about a business' hours, and customer service, but it also comes into effect when calling someone like my aunt, who I'm not super close with.

I also really freak out about calling my friends' houses, on the off-chance that their parents might pick up.

[Mike Smith]

I'm quirky...

I always double, sometimes triple check and reset my alarm at night to make sure it is set correctly.

I always use paper towels to hold gas nozzles at stations.

I use the back of my finger, typically the knuckle of the pointer finger, at the self-check lines in stores.

I must waggle my bum and shift my feet when golfing, only on fairway shots though.

[Callie]

That's the only quirk I can recall off the top of my head:

I also double-check my alarm at night to make sure it is set correctly. First, I'll make sure the time is right and then I'll set it. And since I'm usually not quite ready at that point to go to bed, I'll check it again before I go to sleep. I have this huge fear of waking up late for work, although I have never in all my life done so.

[Sanagi]

I have an insane fear about calling anybody that I don't feel very close with. Obviously, this applies to ordering food, calling to ask about a business' hours, and customer service, but it also comes into effect when calling someone like my aunt, who I'm not super close with.

I also really freak out about calling my friends' houses, on the off-chance that their parents might pick up.
I'm sort of like that, too... There's something really awkward and surreal about talking to someone I don't know over the phone.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

I'm sort of like that, too... There's something really awkward and surreal about talking to someone I don't know over the phone.

Which leads back to my one...

Now I get to go through my irrational fear of the call all over again - but knowing if I don't do it today, I've left it too long.

Christ I'm pathetic.

[Lord Ichabod]

I have an irrational fear of using the phone. I have to plan out everything I want to say before I call someone. Using the phone is like a commitment of something. It's not like talking online or in person. It's weird.
Another thing is I don't expect anything good to ever happen to me ever. That way I'm super shocked when good things happen and I never get crushed when stuff goes wrong.

[Solaris]

I'm not sure if any of this qualifies as irrational but...

-I never touch car door handles with my bare hand. After so many times of being shocked, I cover my hand with my sleeve or jacket.




Well, unless you find something on Snopes that would contradict the following... if you're gonna pump gas, it actually *is* a good idea to ground yourself and discharge any static electricity before you use the pump. There's been cases of static charges on people causing gas pumps to catch fire/explode. It happens more often to men than women, because for some reason women are more likely to touch a metal object before picking up the gas nozzle... something on their car, in their purse, etc. I've noticed a lot of car seat covers (the cloth ones) tend to create more of a static charge on me than leather ones... especially if the weather is right (dry). So... if you're gonna pump gas, touch something metallic first to discharge your static electricity, *after* you get out of the car, before you pump the gas.

[Gilda Dent]

Well, unless you find something on Snopes that would contradict the following... if you're gonna pump gas, it actually *is* a good idea to ground yourself and discharge any static electricity before you use the pump. There's been cases of static charges on people causing gas pumps to catch fire/explode. It happens more often to men than women, because for some reason women are more likely to touch a metal object before picking up the gas nozzle... something on their car, in their purse, etc. I've noticed a lot of car seat covers (the cloth ones) tend to create more of a static charge on me than leather ones... especially if the weather is right (dry). So... if you're gonna pump gas, touch something metallic first to discharge your static electricity, *after* you get out of the car, before you pump the gas.

Yep. This is also the reason you should never get back in the car while the gas is pumping, because this can build a static charge, that can spark and cause a fire.

~

My big one that I'm working on most right now is androphobia, which is fear of men. Any adult male, or for that matter even teens larger than I am, who gets the least bit aggressive scares me, I won't ride an elevator alone with any man, go to a male gynecologist, or let a male photographer take pictures of me. It happened a couple of weeks ago on the way to therapy. I got on an elevator at the first floor, a man got on on the third, and I promptly stepped off, waited a moment, and rang for a new up elevator. Even being alone in a convenience store with a male clerk makes me a little uneasy. Groups of teenage boys are esepecially difficult--that little animal part of the back of my brain reads them like a pack of wild dogs, especially if they make some sort of comment about me.

I hate it, hate it, hate it, but as of yet, it still has the best of me, and what's worse, it seems entirely rational in the moment, it feels reasonable.

Gilda

[Tages]

Yep. This is also the reason you should never get back in the car while the gas is pumping, because this can build a static charge, that can spark and cause a fire.

~

My big one that I'm working on most right now is androphobia, which is fear of men. Any adult male, or for that matter even teens larger than I am, who gets the least bit aggressive scares me, I won't ride an elevator alone with any man, go to a male gynecologist, or let a male photographer take pictures of me. It happened a couple of weeks ago on the way to therapy. I got on an elevator at the first floor, a man got on on the third, and I promptly stepped off, waited a moment, and rang for a new up elevator. Even being alone in a convenience store with a male clerk makes me a little uneasy. Groups of teenage boys are esepecially difficult--that little animal part of the back of my brain reads them like a pack of wild dogs, especially if they make some sort of comment about me.

I hate it, hate it, hate it, but as of yet, it still has the best of me, and what's worse, it seems entirely rational in the moment, it feels reasonable.

Gilda
This is very interesting. I have the exact opposite irrational fear.

For whatever reason I am constantly convinced that women are afraid of me. I'm 6'4" (that's ~193 cm for you metric folk) and ~240 lbs. (~109 kilograms) with broad shoulders and a big frame, and I have a strabismus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strabismus) (exotropic). So I'm built like a football* player, albeit a very out of shape one, and have what some have mistaken for a glass eye. I'm very self-conscious about it and am convinced I look threatening. Whenever I'm alone in a room or elevator with a woman, particularly a petite one, part of my brain is saying "She thinks you're going to attack her," so I look at the ground shyly and sort of move away a little. I just can't stand the thought of being feared like that. This is particularly troublesome since most of the women I'm attracted to are physically small.

So you and I should meet. That would be a sight.

"Eek, I'm afraid of him!"
"Eek, she's afraid of me!"

*They both run away*


*American, not soccer

[Gilda Dent]

This is very interesting. I have the exact opposite irrational fear.

For whatever reason I am constantly convinced that women are afraid of me. I'm 6'4" (that's ~193 cm for you metric folk) and ~240 lbs. (~109 kilograms) with broad shoulders and a big frame, and I have a strabismus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strabismus) (exotropic). So I'm built like a football* player, albeit a very out of shape one, and have what some have mistaken for a glass eye. I'm very self-conscious about it and am convinced I look threatening. Whenever I'm alone in a room or elevator with a woman, particularly a petite one, part of my brain is saying "She thinks you're going to attack her," so I look at the ground shyly and sort of move away a little. I just can't stand the thought of being feared like that. This is particularly troublesome since most of the women I'm attracted to are physically small.

So you and I should meet. That would be a sight.

"Eek, I'm afraid of him!"
"Eek, she's afraid of me!"

*They both run away*


*American, not soccer

You're bigger than Emily and I put together. That's not really all that unusual, though, as we're just under 200 pounds combined.


:D

Just because it's irrational doesn't mean it isn't sometimes true.

Gilda

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Well I made the call, and as always, I worked myself into a fit of worry before it, and then as soon as I started talking got all relaxed and it went fine.

Yet I know next time I have to make that first call, the exact same thing will happen.

I just wish there was a way to rationalise my irrational problem.

[Your Imaginary Pal]

I suffer the same irrational fear when making the first phone call or going on a date.

See SOMETHING ABOUR MARRY the movie, Chris Elliot answers this question for Ben Stiller. Very Amusing.

[Gorthaur]

Groups of teenage boys are esepecially difficult--that little animal part of the back of my brain reads them like a pack of wild dogs, especially if they make some sort of comment about me.That really doesn't seem like a particularly irrational fear to me. Then again, maybe I'm just paranoid, myself.

I think my only truly irrational fear is that of social situations, which generally leave me either extremely anxious and sweating or just feeling the kind of crushing loneliness you can only get when utterly alone in the company of others. It takes copious amounts of alcohol to even get to the latter. Though I suppose it could be argued that that isn't so irrational, either - I certainly feel better when I just stay home and read a book than when I go out and almost invariably get approached by girls with whom my mental baggage won't let anything happen.

[dingo]

Where I used to work someone had scrawled some "inspirational" grafitti in the toilets. I don't know why.

One of them was "Irrational fears will be the death of you".

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but if something you fear is the death of you, then by definition it can't be irrational, can it?

Drove me nuts for years.

[Noah Johnson]

Just because it's irrational doesn't mean it isn't sometimes true.
Yeah, I'm a big guy myself, with a shaved head, and I've occasionally noticed women obviously mentally running through their rape-defense courses when they see me on the street. I want to scream at them "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, LADY! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? I'M FUCKING HARMLESS!"

But then I think that probably wouldn't make them less afraid...

My own thing is that I must always skip a step when going up or down stairs. Skipping more than one step is allowable (and common; I take big steps) but at least one must be skipped. Carrying a large sofa is not sufficient reason to make an exception. Also, when on a sidewalk or a floor, at least one "square" must be stepped over. The definition of what constitutes an adequate subdivision to fulfill the compulsion is pretty complicated, so I won't get into it here. It's been developed over many years.

Also, of course, my insistence on having handguns around is, in rational terms, pretty irrational. There's no crime at all in my neighborhood, and I'm just servicing my own mild streak of paranoia.

Then again, the guns aren't really about crime. I was finally persuaded to arm myself by Nabokov's great novel LOLITA, in which the protagonist has a lovingly-described handgun that I've been able to identify as a Colt model 1903 .32 hammerless. That book made clear to me that sometimes in life, you find yourself on an endless roadtrip across America with your 13-year-old lover/stepdaughter, on whom you have no legal claim, being pursued by a shifting and possibly imaginary persecutor who is slowly driving you mad.

And when that happens, it helps if you're packing.

[Michael P]

I have an irrational fear of not watching porn.

Oh, wait, no I don't. I just like looking at naked chicks.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Where I used to work someone had scrawled some "inspirational" grafitti in the toilets. I don't know why.

One of them was "Irrational fears will be the death of you".

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but if something you fear is the death of you, then by definition it can't be irrational, can it?

Drove me nuts for years.

I'm always disturbed by one in a pub in Newtown "Narrative Is Dead".

A wanker uni student, or a sign that there is no master plan after all?

[K'Nort]

I don't mind talking to people, known or strangers, on the telephone but I will not leave a message if it sounds like an actual machine rather than voice mail. No speaking to an "empty" room.

I also regularly get up in the middle of the night to confirm the stove is off.

[BlairH]

Well as I'm afraid of all guns, I imagine I'd be terrified of them.

I see it as quite rational though.
I have an irrational fear of people who have an irrational fear of guns.

[Gilda Dent]

I also regularly get up in the middle of the night to confirm the stove is off.

Oh, come on. That's just good common sense.

Gilda

[Cosmic Average]

Where I used to work someone had scrawled some "inspirational" grafitti in the toilets. I don't know why.

One of them was "Irrational fears will be the death of you".

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but if something you fear is the death of you, then by definition it can't be irrational, can it?

I don't see it that way. It's not the object of your fears that'll lead to death, but the fear itself.

You know, like if someone had an irrational fear of hospitals. ;)
____

I have an irrational fear of social situations.

[Dan Apodaca]

I have an irrational fear of people who have an irrational fear of guns.

I told you he was afraid of us!

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

I have an irrational fear of people who have an irrational fear of guns.

I don't see it as irrational.

I don't like things that can kill people.

I especially don't like anything that was made for the sole purpose of killing people.

I don't want to be killed, and I don't want anyone else to be, so I hate the conecept of things designed to kill people.

Quite rational.

[Noah Johnson]

I don't see it as irrational.

I don't like things that can kill people.

I especially don't like anything that was made for the sole purpose of killing people.

I don't want to be killed, and I don't want anyone else to be, so I hate the conecept of things designed to kill people.

Quite rational.
Yeah, Blair's just being silly, hoplophobia makes a lot more sense than most phobias.

But seriously, next time you're in the Portland area, look me up and we'll go shooting. Once you've learned how guns work and how to use one, they get less scary. You still may not like them, many don't, but at least it's no longer something dangerous AND unfamiliar, you know?