PDA

View Full Version : Chuck Norris Jokes!


Jenova.exe
03-14-2006, 06:16 PM
C'mon people whats more funnier thank Chuck Norris jokes list some down.

Do you know what rapture is?
It's the day Chuck Norris dies.

Fast food is fast cuz Chuck Norris is impatient.

Chuck Norris is automatically given the 30 extra lives when playing "Contra" without ever even touching the controls.

Chuck Norris was the Fifth Ninja Turtle, but he was kicked out when he refused to wear a protective shell and continued to maintain that "Roundhouse Kick" was the only weapon he needed.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris is God's apology for the Holocaust.

When Chuck Norris first saw the ten commandments written in stone, he was angered that god did not include his name. He then gave Moses a wedgie and karate chopped the Commandments in several peices. Moses snickered as he made off with the real copy, to this day, Chuck Norris will punch anyone who brings up the subject of the the ten commandments in hope that it could be Moses in disguise.

The last time Chuck Norris played Monopoly, he went home with the deed to his mother's house in his sock.

Peter Jackson initially wanted Chuck Norris to star in Lord of the Rings. Unfortunately, the entire trilogy would've been 12 hours shorter and full of dead hobbits.

Chuck Norris is like Jesus. He loves the little children; they're delicious.

Jenova.exe
03-14-2006, 06:24 PM
Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

literally exaggerated
03-14-2006, 06:37 PM
while you're showing us all these ultra-current and not-played-out jokes, why don't you throw in some Lewinsky jokes, or maybe call someone the weakest link.

StoneGold
03-14-2006, 07:30 PM
When you get Chuck Norris on camera talking about Chuck Norris facts, it's officially played out.

http://www.videovat.com/videos/1365/chuck-norris-10-facts.aspx

Rachel Grey
03-14-2006, 08:50 PM
So.... Who wants to stage an All Your Base revival?

No one huh? Damn. That was way funnier than Chuck Norris...

Erebus
03-14-2006, 08:56 PM
Best. Thing. Ever. (http://www.pointsincase.com/anti_chuck_facts.htm)

Maleficentogre
03-14-2006, 09:49 PM
I mean, while we're at it http://www.milkandcookies.com/links/33289/details/

Valmore
03-14-2006, 10:31 PM
Chuck Norris never jokes. Ever. He just kicks you in the kidney.

BlairH
03-15-2006, 07:56 AM
So.... Who wants to stage an All Your Base revival?

What happen?
Somebody set up us the bomb!

Huh?
03-15-2006, 09:09 AM
while you're showing us all these ultra-current and not-played-out jokes, why don't you throw in some Lewinsky jokes, or maybe call someone the weakest link."Do I make you horny, baby? Yeah!"

DubipR
03-15-2006, 10:34 AM
Why make fun of a guy who can kick your ass dressed in Wrangler Jeans?
Chuck's the man!

Rachel Grey
03-15-2006, 11:23 PM
Because it's overplayed.

I just want to see the next thing come along. Like maybe McGuyver or YAAFM.