need help.

[Ullar]

my mom thinks gayness is a perversion and should not be in the media. i want to read young avengers but can't and we where going to see brokeback mountain but mom said "no matter how many oscer we will not see this" becuse she learned of the gayness. i am not gay but see nothing wrong with it. help me get sugggestions for Young Avengers and brokeback.

[Michael P]

Do you want to convince her she's wrong, or go behind her back and read the comics/see the flick anyway?

Edit: I'm willing to help you with either.

[BoosterBronze]

Just tell your mom you're gay and you plan to marry a man you met on the internet.



I'm willing to bet that afterwards what comic you read wouldn't be on her mind.

[Michael P]

Just tell your mom you're gay and you plan to marry a man you met on the internet.



I'm willing to bet that afterwards what comic you read wouldn't be on her mind.
Or much else, once the embolism runs its course.

[BoosterBronze]

Or much else, once the embolism runs its course.

You can't make an omeleltte without breakin eggs, any cook will tell you that.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

You could sneak and watch the movie and read Young Avengers. Just if you get caught ..act like a typical teenager and say " Those evil gays won't pervert me ! I got me a Hustler magazine too ! " :p

Ok in all seriousness I'd recommend you talk to her and tell her its just a comic book and movie. Good luck.

[Ullar]

thanks. i treid talking and it doesn't work. need hgelp with sneaking. i think i can win her over on youg avengers but need help seeing th emovie. she already knows i like a girl so telling her i'm gay won't help.

[Donald M.]

How does your mom know there are gay characters in Young Avengers in the first place?

[Ullar]

i was discussing with my bud and she heared.

[Michael P]

For the movie, just wait until it's out on DVD, get a friend to rent it, and watch it at his house.

[ocelotrevs]

You should respect your mothers wishes.

However, you should get the comic, and hide it outside the house.
If you can, get it from another store.

Brokeback Mountains, sounds like a terrible film.

[Ullar]

that just might work.

[Kid Omega]

my mom thinks gayness is a perversion and should not be in the media.

Sounds good so far.

i want to read young avengers but can't and we where going to see brokeback mountain but mom said "no matter how many oscer we will not see this" becuse she learned of the gayness.

They do have gayness. No denyin' it.

i am not gay ...

Are you sure? You do, after all, want to watch cowboys making out.

... but see nothing wrong with it.

Sounds a little gay...

help me get sugggestions for Young Avengers and brokeback.

If your mom says "No", you gotta hope she either changes her mind (unlikely), or you turn 18 (probable). Until then don't let her know about Runaways. Or Love and Rockets. Or Infinite Crisis.

And don't be gay. It will break her heart.

[Doug Strange]

Lie to her and tell her that you want to buy the comics/see the movie in order to make fun of them. Yes, you need to study the enemy, that's it.

You hate gays. Just remember this and you'll be fine.

[Kid Omega]

You hate gays. Just remember this and you'll be fine.

And possibly a lucrative career in politics!

[Ullar]

what runaways and infininte crisis is homo?!?!?!?!?

[Kid Omega]

what runaways and infininte crisis is homo?!?!?!?!?

runaways: underage lipstick lesbians in love

infinite crisis: earth one superman, nightwing, booster gold, all versions of Lex Luthor, the New Teen Titans, Darkseid, Saturn Girl, etc...

[Ullar]

nihtwing the titans and gold are not gay. nor is luthor. what the hell are you talking about. i love lesbians :drools:

[Rabid Trekkie]

Eh, you'll be out of the house one day so it can all wait. Everyone in my family wants to watch Sin City except my Dad, so we can't rent it. My brother and I bought League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 2 without flipping through it, if my parents ever get curious it's going to be in the trash while I'm at school and I'm 20!

Pretty much it is her house and her rules, and everything stays quieter if you just put up with it for now.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Do you live in one of the red states ? If so tell your mom you plan to watch and read about the Gays so as a Republican you can squash them like the perverted bugs they are ! Thats the ticket....and hell she may double your allowance to get your political career off too. ;)

[Spike-X]

my mom thinks gayness is a perversion and should not be in the media. i want to read young avengers but can't and we where going to see brokeback mountain but mom said "no matter how many oscer we will not see this" becuse she learned of the gayness. i am not gay but see nothing wrong with it. help me get sugggestions for Young Avengers and brokeback.
So, we can't possibly allow gay people to raise kids, but we have an open-door policy on bigoted, homophobic nitwits having unfettered access to childrens' minds to spread their hateful filth.

"Does that seem right to you?"

[Spike-X]

i love lesbians :drools:

They don't love you, though.

Sorry.

[Spike-X]

For the movie, just wait until it's out on DVD, get a friend to rent it, and watch it at his house.
Maybe the two of them could snuggle up under a blanket together. Just to, y'know, get into the spirit of the movie.

[Rachel Grey]

Cholorform her then get a whiskey glass out and slosh some booze over the glass, the floor & her. Then you do whatever you want and when she comes to she'll be to busy wondering when the hell she became such a lush to notice your coming and going :p

[Solaris]

my mom thinks gayness is a perversion and should not be in the media. i want to read young avengers but can't and we where going to see brokeback mountain but mom said "no matter how many oscer we will not see this" becuse she learned of the gayness. i am not gay but see nothing wrong with it. help me get sugggestions for Young Avengers and brokeback.

Educate yourself... and then try to educate her. It's the best course, IMO. But first, YOU need to know all the facts about gay people, in order to know what kinds of "fear-mongering BS" is being put out there, that she's likely heard and believes. Factual information is your friend. And just so you know, there are plenty of Christians out there who believe the Bible says homosexuality is a sin, but are willing to follow Christ's example of compassion and "don't cast the first stone," as well as "how can we reach people if we reject them out of hand?"

I'm sure there's plenty of sites people can refer you to here... (Gilda, HELP!). I can refer you to the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), which is a group that promotes equal rights for Gay, Bi, Lesbian, and Transgender people (GBLT, though you may see it references as well as LBGT). They have a good website, with lots of info.

Just so you know, male homosexuality (which seems to be the kind most people have the biggest problem with) has been proven to be from birth, and is thought to be a combination of a genetic factor, along with possibly environmental conditions in the womb (hormones, etc.). There's tons of info out there; go look. And, FYI, gays are NOT pedophiles. Pedophiles are mental abberants who have a focus on *children*, period. If they can't get their preference (age, gender, hair color, etc.) they usually *will* take whatever child they can get---so long as it's a child. Homosexuals are NOT pedophiles, nor are Heterosexuals---pedophiles are pedophiles, period.

Good luck, and if Gilda Dent doesn't respond in this thread, I suggest you Private Message her for information links---she is much better than I at knowing what good ones to send you to. :)

Good luck, and I hope things go well with your mother. You *might* be able to change her mind... if YOU know what you're talking about. Go learn. Please. :)

[Paul McEnery]

what runaways and infininte crisis is homo?!?!?!?!?
Well, Phil's a whopping great homo. With a really nice bum!

Ullar -- there's nothing shameful about being gay. And there's nothing shameful about being tolerant towards gays.

But there's everything shameful about not being tolerant towards gay people.

You're on team non-suck, so you win. What else is there to worry about?

[Kid Omega]

And there's nothing shameful about being tolerant towards gays.


Let's not get crazy.

It has been scientifically proven that being tolerant means you can only date girls with hairy pits that make their own clothes.

It's science.

[Kid Omega]

Educate yourself... and then try to educate her. It's the best course, IMO.

Good luck preaching to your closed-minded mother, Ullar!

One thing parents love is when their children tell them how wrong they are.

[pennywisdom]

For the movie, just wait until it's out on DVD, get a friend to rent it, and watch it at his house.
Yeah, that sounds like good advice. Once your mother finds out that you're sneaking around watching Brokeback Mountain behind her back at a male friends house just because it received an Oscar nomination, I'm sure she'll be so convinced of your heterosexuality, she'll buy Young Avengers for you without question.

[Gaz]

Yeah, that sounds like good advice. Once your mother finds out that you're sneaking around watching Brokeback Mountain behind her back at a male friends house just because it received an Oscar nomination, I'm sure she'll be so convinced of your heterosexuality, she'll buy Young Avengers for you without question.
Yes, because we all know, only Teh Gayz can enjoy movies featuring said Gayz... :rolleyes:

[Gilda Dent]

First, let me say it's refreshing to see a little teen rebellion that comes in the form of treating people with dignity and not just as striking back against authority. I didn't nave the strength of character as a teen to see through the homophobic ideas my parents and various stepparents promoted, even though I was myself of an alternate sexuality. I just accepted what they said at face value and thought of my feelings as evil. Which is, I guess, my way of saying thank you for this attitude.

There's about two minutes of gay cowboy sex in Brokeback Mountain, and a whole lot more of various degrees of female nudity and implied heterosexual sex. You could tell your mom that you're going to see the topless shots of Michelle Williams. It isn't about gay sex on any level, it just uses that as a springboard for an exploration of what it's like not to fit into the world in which you find yourself, being in love with the "wrong" person, the struggle to be true to the person inside even when that person isn't who society tells you you should be. It has a lot more in common with Romeo and Juliet than with any kind of porn.

To see the movie without your mom knowing, you're going to have to lie to her. Only you can know whether that's something you're comfortable doing, and whether this is an issue on which you want to take a stand.

There are a couple of methods that could get you access to the movie. If your mom isn't taking you, you could tell her that you're going to something else. Getting tickets could be problematic depending upon their enforcement policy, your age, and who you are going with. However, the key here would be to go when not accompanied by your mom, and not tell her what you saw.

Again, I'm not advocating defiance as a general rule, but sometimes an issue is worth the potential consequences that come with that, and only you can decide if this is worth it to you.

With the comic it's easier. Unless your mom buys your comics or regularly goes through your stuff--and I realize that some moms do this--it's just a matter of not reading it or discussing it in front of her.

Now, to play off of what Solaris was saying earlier, I look at that first sentence, that gayness is a perversion, and it gives me pause as to whether your mom would really be receptive to factual information regarding homosexuals. She's making a moral judgement, and those are difficult to address in a rational, practical way. Educating yourself is a good idea, but you'll have to judge whether your mom might be receptive to information that runs counter to her preconcieved ideas.

The approach I'd suggest if you want to discuss things with her is to ask questions. Why do you think it's a perversion? What do you mean by perversion? Can you explain what harm you think will come from seeing this movie or reading these comics?

I don't know you or your mom, so I can't tell to what degree she might be open to new ideas, but labeling homosexuality a "perversion" doesn't often bode well for rational discussion. Whatever you do, don't approach her with a hostile attitude. You can't bully someone into changing their mind.

Good luck with figuring it out. If you need any links to information, I'd be happy to provide some.

Gilda

[Boldido]

...or you could just tell her you want to see the movie so you can see Anne Hathaway's tits.

[Ullar]

okay i don't think i was clear. my mom is fine with people being gay. she just isn't fine with so called "kids" comic books having gay characters making them cool and idollizing them. Bassically she and my dad thinks that you devolep gayness and i think your born with it.
i live in an area where you have to drive every where to do anything and can't drive for a few years. I buy my comics with my dad because he takes me with his car.

[Ullar]

Do you live in one of the red states ? If so tell your mom you plan to watch and read about the Gays so as a Republican you can squash them like the perverted bugs they are ! Thats the ticket....and hell she may double your allowance to get your political career off too. ;)
My entire family is left wing.

[Ullar]

i messud up a post and this is filler

[Ullar]

Let's not get crazy.

It has been scientifically proven that being tolerant means you can only date girls with hairy pits that make their own clothes.

It's science.
HELL NO! I'm gonna date a cheerleader. Preferabley brunette but blonde or red would be just fine.

[Ullar]

Yeah, that sounds like good advice. Once your mother finds out that you're sneaking around watching Brokeback Mountain behind her back at a male friends house just because it received an Oscar nomination, I'm sure she'll be so convinced of your heterosexuality, she'll buy Young Avengers for you without question.
okay i could watch it at a female freinds house. But how could we rent it it's R where not old engough?
this will sound dumb but what does hetero mean? thanks for all the help.

[Gilda Dent]

okay i could watch it at a female freinds house. But how could we rent it it's R where not old engough?
this will sound dumb but what does hetero mean? thanks for all the help.

Hetero=different, thus heterosexual means sexual attractiong to the opposite sex. In this context, it means straight.

I'm a bit confused. You say your mom doesn't have any problem with people being gay, but you began by quoting her as saying it's a perversion. I'm not sure if those two beliefs are entirely compatible.

If your parents are driving you to get your comics and to movies to buy your tickets, subterfuge is probably not going to work. Reading or viewing at a friend's house may be your only alternative.

Do your parents think reading comics with gay characters or seeing a movie with gay characters will make you gay? I mean no offense by that, I'm just curious, as that's not what any of the science says.

Gilda

[Super Samurai]

...or you could just tell her you want to see the movie so you can see Anne Hathaway's tits.

Waitaminute, that happens? *Goes out to rent Brokeback Mountain*

[Boldido]

Waitaminute, that happens? *Goes out to rent Brokeback Mountain*

Sure does...its one of the main reasons I LOVED that movie...that and that hunky Heath Ledger.

[Gilda Dent]

Waitaminute, that happens? *Goes out to rent Brokeback Mountain*

Yep. There's a whole lot more heterosexual stuff in the movie than homosexual.

Gilda

[Solaris]

okay i don't think i was clear. my mom is fine with people being gay. she just isn't fine with so called "kids" comic books having gay characters making them cool and idollizing them. Bassically she and my dad thinks that you devolep gayness and i think your born with it.
i live in an area where you have to drive every where to do anything and can't drive for a few years. I buy my comics with my dad because he takes me with his car.


First, how old are you, hon? If "can't drive for a few years" means you're around 12-13, then I definitely advocate skipping the movie and the comics for now (maybe you have a really good friend from school who'd buy the comics for you and store 'em for now, if you give him/her the money for it---that way you won't miss issues). (I grew up in the country, too, and didn't get to drive till I was 18, but that was because of insurance costs.)

Second, you obviously have internet access... and there's plenty of resources out there where you can learn more about the studies and research into homosexuality, that gives factual information. Again, educate yourself.

Gilda asked some very good questions: some people see it as a mental perversion/choice (i.e. psychological issue); some see it as a religious perversion (sin), and some see it as both. Religion-wise, I can accept that some people see it that way, because that's what their faith teaches. In that regard, I only ask that if they beleive that, they also extend compassion and love and tolerance for other beliefs, not hatred and/or a desire to attempt to "force change for the person's own good."

On the psychological front, all the professional organizations have ruled it "not a mental illness nor a perversion, merely a difference" (to sum it up)---and they've done extensive studies on it. They've also established the "from birth" for males, and that there's likely at least some birth factors for females as well, though females seem to have more of an environmental influence.

If you like, I can put you in touch (email) with someone who used to post here: he's a therapist, has educated himself thoroughly on the subject and can point you to plenty of places to learn more... and his 13 yr. old son is gay. When his son came out, his first response was to ask people here if they knew any teen organizations that his son could join/correspond with, that help and support teen gays. He's just that kind of dad. :)

As to "educating your parents"... that can be tricky, especially the younger you are. Now, it's not impossible, but here's what I'd do:

Learn all you can. This is important, because it's clear that you already accept homosexuals as normal people, just different---but if you're going to speak to someone who thinks it's perversion and "choice," you really need to have scientific fact to back you up. *If* you think you can deal with your parents possibly blowing a fuse (I don't know them), then at some point when the subject comes up (gays, etc.), throw out a few of the facts you've learned, and see what they say. If they ask "how do you know that?/where did you hear that?", simply tell them that you wanted to learn and understand about all this, so you did some research on your own. (The word "research" is a good one, because it automatically implies scholarship, rather than "word of mouth"---and is 100% accurate, in this case.) Quote some of the info you've learned from the studies, etc. that you've read the conclusions for. I *wouldn't* say you got it HERE, because frankly, they aren't going to see anything you were referred to here as too valid---it's a "comics site!" for goodness sake. ;)

If your parents are at least tolerant toward other people being gay, that's a point in their favor. I don't know *how* tolerant they are, from what you've said, or if it's a genuine tolerance or merely "lip service," but I'll hope that it's the former. Just remember: there are still a lot of people out there who are spouting misinformation and lies about homosexuality, including some "tame" psychologists who work for Focus on the Family. (Said psychologists are saying things directly counter to the scientific findings of their own profession... and that's like a medical doctor saying that leeches are the answer to everything.)

I hope all goes well for you. I hope you get the chance to learn, and hopefully to pass on valid info to your parents. There's so much misinformation out there, including things like "Gays try to 'convert' kids," and "Gay males are closet pedophiles, and/or will go for kids if there isn't an adult male for them." Both are not just scientifically incorrect (by the classifications of "homosexual" and "pedophile")---they're also a way that certain people try to evoke fear in others who don't have much knowledge on the subject. And that's just wrong.

[i_mmmchocolate]

Solaris read my mind:

How old are you?

[Spike-X]

my mom is fine with people being gay.

You know, I really don't think she is.

she just isn't fine with so called "kids" comic books having gay characters making them cool and idollizing them.

Why not? Is she worried that if you read a comic with a cool character who happens to be gay, you're going to want to be gay too?

Bassically she and my dad thinks that you devolep gayness and i think your born with it.

They're wrong. You're right. You probably won't be able to convince them of that, however. Most people are reluctant to let minor details like facts get in the way of their prejudices.

[Spike-X]

Don't limit yourself, man. There's plenty of awesome girls out there who aren't cheerleaders.

[Gaz]

Solaris read my mind:

How old are you?
True. Although I question her response to the comics. It's Young Avengers, not Preacher. There's nothing in it that wouldn't be fine in a PG-13 movie. If she let him see Lord Of The Rings, then this series is fine.

[BlairH]

My entire family is left wing.

The left can be (and are) just as bigoted as the right. I think your Mom is just being an overbearing....Mom. It's silly and stupid that she wants you to stop reading comics that happen to have homosexual characters.

That said: I think you should respect her wishes, she is your Mother after all.

[BlairH]

True. Although I question her response to the comics. It's Young Avengers, not Preacher. There's nothing in it that wouldn't be fine in a PG-13 movie. If she let him see Lord Of The Rings, then this series is fine.

Hmmm, seems to me like it's up to the parents to evaluate what their children want to see. Ratings aren't foolproof (heck, look at Resident EVil 4, it's a BBFC15 yet it has awesome chainsaw decapitations RWWWWAAAAAAAR! SQUELCH! CRACK!) That's one of the reasons why I'm so anti-censorship, it takes responsibility away from the parents.

[Spike-X]

I think you should respect her wishes, she is your Mother after all.

What if she wanted him to stop being friends with somebody who happened to be gay? Should he still respect her wishes? What if she wanted him to attend the local KKK meeting every week? Should he still respect her wishes?

[BlairH]

What if she wanted him to stop being friends with somebody who happened to be gay? Should he still respect her wishes? What if she wanted him to attend the local KKK meeting every week? Should he still respect her wishes?

"You will not see this movie, which I have deemed -as your Mother- to be unsuitable for you." Is hardly the same as "You will come with me to the local Klan meeting! Hail Satan!"

[Spike-X]

"You will not see this movie, which I have deemed -as your Mother- to be unsuitable for you." Is hardly the same as "You will come with me to the local Klan meeting! Hail Satan!"
So then, where do we draw the line at respecting a parent's wishes (however ignorant and misguided they may be) vs. growing a set and thinking for oneself?

[nervmeister]

my mom thinks gayness is a perversion and should not be in the media. i want to read young avengers but can't and we where going to see brokeback mountain but mom said "no matter how many oscer we will not see this" becuse she learned of the gayness. i am not gay but see nothing wrong with it. help me get sugggestions for Young Avengers and brokeback.I suggest you ignore your mom, and go see the movie anyhow. In fact, recommend that she see a therapist as well.

[Kid Omega]

What if she wanted him to stop being friends with somebody who happened to be gay? Should he still respect her wishes? What if she wanted him to attend the local KKK meeting every week? Should he still respect her wishes?

As Blair pointed out, there is big difference in those things and not seeing Brokeback Mountain.

He knows that his mom is wrong, so what difference does it make? Is it worth "fighting the power" just to read a comic?

Or is it easier to miss out on the book for a few years, keep his mom from having a conniption, and be right-minded without making her crazy?

I come from a similiar situation- my parents are closed-minded southern folks, who think that Gays are Wrong. They are also good people who took care of me, and despite having a stupid opinion about gays, they have never been anything but sweet to the gay folks that have come into their small sphere.

I learned early on that
a) they were not going to change their views easily, if at all
b) having one wrong-headed opinion does a Klan member make
c) patience is easier than head-butting
d) people get stubborn as they grow old, and after a point arguing only upsets them

I realize that in a broader sense we should fight fight fight for Gay Rights. In a more specific sense, arguing my parents into a corner over it is only going to alienate us and piss them off, and honestly, it's not worth it. I have my vote, they have theirs. As long as their dumb views don't mean marching around with a "God Hates Fags" sign, we can agree to disagree.

All in all, for peace at the dinner table, I really think it's better for the kid to not read the comic, keep his mom happy in her wrongness, and at 18 he can read whatever he wants.

[Ullar]

Okay yes she lets me see any movie with out gore, EXCESSIVE swering, and sex. Maryland not the south. More like agansait gay marriggae and thinks that its fine for them to live toghter not marry. SHe thinks gayness in the media will convert kids like violence. she is half and half. she just thinks its wrong but is not all KKK kill the fags just kill the chiled idolized gays.

[Solaris]

You haven't answered my question yet---how old are you?
:)

[Ullar]

13 filler filler filler