I had this dream about this girl...

[Erebus]

I met this girl (lets call her Z) a couple of months ago, and we hit it off right away. Me and Z are great friends. But today while I was taking a nap, I had this dream where I was kissing her. I don't know what this tells me. Do I like her? Should I ask her out? But she's already got a boyfriend, and she's into guys who act all ghetto, which I'm definetly not. Plus, I'm afriad if I do ask her out, it would destroy our friendship if I broke up with her. What should I do?

[bert]

I met this girl (lets call her Z) a couple of months ago, and we hit it off right away. Me and Z are great friends. But today while I was taking a nap, I had this dream where I was kissing her. I don't know what this tells me. Do I like her? Should I ask her out? But she's already got a boyfriend, and she's into guys who act all ghetto, which I'm definetly not. Plus, I'm afriad if I do ask her out, it would destroy our friendship if I broke up with her. What should I do?


Send her flowers and stalk her.

It would be really cool if you could take a picture of her from outside the store while she's working.

mmmmm. . . I want a sub now.

[Fabian]

Skip the drama and masturbate 4 times as hard

[Cotton]

Maybe she has Yellow Fever and she's attracted to Asian Guys.

All I'm saying is there are some pretty weird fetishes out there.

[west3man]

I met this girl (lets call her Z) a couple of months ago, and we hit it off right away. Me and Z are great friends. But today while I was taking a nap, I had this dream where I was kissing her. I don't know what this tells me. Do I like her? Should I ask her out? But she's already got a boyfriend, and she's into guys who act all ghetto, which I'm definetly not. Plus, I'm afriad if I do ask her out, it would destroy our friendship if I broke up with her. What should I do?
there was a similar issue many,many moons, ago, which folks like to obsess on. ...just so you know what the odd comments are about. (or maybe u were around back then)

anyway, only YOU know if you like her. since you're asking, i'll assume you do.

what to do? get to know her better. talk to her. ask her about herself - her likes and dislikes and whatnot. that's confirm that you do or don't like her and give you a clue as to whether she'd dig on you.

good luck.

[west3man]

Skip the drama and masturbate 4 times as hard
HEY, i *get* that one!

[Jeff Brady]

Only ask her out if she works for Subway.

[Davideaux]

Sounds like you need Hitch...

[Daniel Lewis]

Sounds like you need Hitch...

An awesome movie if there ever was one.

[StoneGold]

Just looked up the dream analysis on the Internet. It means you're gay. So asking her out would just be a cruel joke on her anyways. So I say go for it, because fuck her, the bitch.

[Aelo]

Is this girl reasonably attractive? And this boyfriend she has, will he break your spine if you tried to make a move on her? Is she really worth it to you? You need to think about your own safety. People have died for less, you know...

[PatrickG]

Is this girl reasonably attractive? And this boyfriend she has, will he break your spine if you tried to make a move on her? Is she really worth it to you? You need to think about your own safety. People have died for less, you know...

Ah... The question is whether anyone has ever died for anything more...

[Cotton]

Okay fine:

You have either one of two choices, you could either:

A) Everytime you think of this girl just get a bucket of ice water and dunk your balls in it until the erection goes down.

or

B) Play the game of love and go through all this sitcom/situational comedy type ordeal which would be considered stalking in real life.

Either one of those choices suck so does it really matter?

I'd go for B!

[Aelo]

Okay fine:

You have either one of two choices, you could either:

A) Everytime you think of this girl just get a bucket of ice water and dunk your balls in it until the erection goes down.

or

B) Play the game of love and go through all this sitcom/situational comedy type ordeal which would be considered stalking in real life.

Either one of those choices suck so does it really matter?

I'd go for B!

I dunno. Choice B sounds awfully dangerous. There's risk of heart-break, incarceration, and bodily harm...

[PatrickG]

Okay fine:

You have either one of two choices, you could either:

A) Everytime you think of this girl just get a bucket of ice water and dunk your balls in it until the erection goes down.

or

B) Play the game of love and go through all this sitcom/situational comedy type ordeal which would be considered stalking in real life.

Either one of those choices suck so does it really matter?

I'd go for B!

I'm not sure if "B" is stalking if he flat out asks her out. However, if he uses his friendship to scan for a possible opening in the relationship, it gets murkier.

Me? I'd probably just shuffle along hoping for an opening between relationships and ask her out in hopes she doesn't believe in the "friend zone".

I'm pretty hopelessly awkward and confused in these scenarios. Some girls want you to indicate interest, even if they're in a relationship, and dismiss you if you don't. Some girls may dismiss you as an option because you're friends. Some girls might be willing to pursue something down the road but would be offended if you say so much as say "Boo!" until they're single.

It seems like you'll have to make a judgment call here.

[Wesley Dodds]

there was a similar issue many,many moons, ago, which folks like to obsess on. ...just so you know what the odd comments are about. (or maybe u were around back then)

I think I know what "issue" you're talking about and remember that "issue-man" didn't know the girl but photographed her in secret and put her photo online and was a creepy fuck.

[Erebus]

Is this girl reasonably attractive? And this boyfriend she has, will he break your spine if you tried to make a move on her? Is she really worth it to you? You need to think about your own safety. People have died for less, you know...
Yeah, she's pretty hot. And her boy friend and I play poker together sometimes, so he's cool too. I don't want to give up my friendship for a chick, even if I really like her, but I don't know what to do.

[Aelo]

Yeah, she's pretty hot. And her boy friend and I play poker together sometimes, so he's cool too. I don't want to give up my friendship for a chick, even if I really like her, but I don't know what to do.

Well, if you want to play it safe, then just stay friends. There's no way for me to be 100% certain, but it sounds like making a move on this girl might screw things up for you. Especially since she's already got a boyfriend. Just be cool for the time being.

[i_mmmchocolate]

It was just a dream.

She has a boyfriend.

[Ronald Bryan]

I once had a dream where my pinky finger fell off. Didn't mean i went out and cut it off...

[StoneGold]

I once had a dream where my pinky finger fell off. Didn't mean i went out and cut it off...
That means you're gay.

[PatrickG]

I have a female friend who's had the same boyfriend since she was 12, with only a short break or two along the way. I really like her and I feel like we have a rapport, in general, whenever we have one on one conversations. I'm not her closest male friend or anything.

There's not really an obvious "in" there. Her boyfriend lives a couple hundred miles away and she does seem to enjoy flirting though.

The whole situation is like scuba diving without goggles. I have no objective perspective on things and I can't get one from friends because she's friends with all of my day-to-day friends. I could never realistically do anything unless she was single anyway but it's a struggle deciding how much to indicate interest, if at all.

Now... A few variables to toss in that make the situation harder:

1. A month or two after I decided to become a vegetarian (my latest effort at it, which has lasted several months) she threw out the comment that she could only date vegetarians. Thing is, I'm not sure if she clued in that I was at that point because I've managed to go roughly six months and some people I eat with daily are just now noticing.

2. I was going on a blind date last week and I predicted, in front of Girl and several friends, that my blind date and I would be totally incompatible in several key ways. I said something to the effect of, "Artsy and not terribly religious SHOULDN'T be that hard to find." And despite the fact that this pretty much identified every female at the table, she blurted out, "I'm totally what you need!" And then after a quick beat of awkwardness, I said something like, "Too bad that's not an option." And the conversation quickly veered another direction.

3. Whenever we disagree on anything, there's this... air of disappointment? I'm not sure if I should make anything of it. I think it's pretty much how she responds to disagreement with anybody. (Most recently, she was saying how her boyfriend was enraged that Nazis are allowed to have parades. I think I shocked her when I said that I believe that free speech should extend to all people, even those I disagree with.)

4. We were sharing a couch at a party. I had almost passed out sitting up and she was propped with her feet over the couch when a friend woke me up and suggested I move. I woke her up to let her know she'd have the whole couch to sprawl out across and she just had this look like she didn't want me to go.

5. She makes this bold statements to test the waters with people a lot but she really seems terrified being exhibitionistic in front of large groups. I'm always egging her on to make her semi-famous animal noises or sing or tell stories in front of larger groups and there's just this rapport we have with our eyes that I hope is something but I'm not sure.

6. I've recently found myself feeling displaced by this mutual friend who met her a few weeks ago. He just turns into a rabid hyena in heat when she's around and it's frustrating because, looking at him, he seems like a more aggressive version of me. We're both English Lit. dorks with a thing for Hamlet and he seems to have built this rapport with her by saying everything I want to say five seconds before I do and then laying it on thick with how sexually frustrated he is. I like the guy one-on-one but in a group, he totally seems to eclipse my niche. Thing is, whenever I'm off talking with other friends, she pairs off with him. But if I'm there, she seems to pay more attention to me.

7. One of our friends is aware of my crush. A couple of times, I decided to try NOT having the crush and he suggested awhile back that it was a good thing that I still had the crush. No explanation provided.

8. Like a beeping geiger counter, any moment of connection between us leads to a story about her boyfriend. But then, when I respond with how he sounds cool, she seems to -- I dunno -- get closer emotionally. But then the references escelate until her boyfriend is all we're talking about and it's just weird. (I met him once and we were like old friends in less than a minute. He and I stayed up until 5AM talking about everything from cartoons to the nature of the universe and Girl was supposed to give us eachother's phone numbers but she never did.)

Now, any of this could be crush-induced misperception. But I'm totally confused. And I've rambled on long enough about myself that I'll probably get a few snarky replies or posters who get ticked with me. But I just had to unload all this...

[PatrickG]

It was just a dream.

She has a boyfriend.

I wish *I* could think like that but I've never dated and I've never encountered a single female who I was interested in who seemed interested in me.

Not saying that you have the wrong idea. You have the right one.

But it's hard to dismiss human emotion like that.

It's like going back in time and telling the Columbine Kids, "Don't shoot people." It's like going back and telling Bush, "There are no WMDs in Iraq."

They may believe you but they may not be strong enough to LISTEN to your advice.

And that's one of the funky things about the human condition.

[Maleficentogre]

never mess with a girl with a boyfriend. especially if y'all are friends. Ruining a friendship for a piece of ass never works out well.

[PatrickG]

See... My problem with people's responses to these things always seems to boil it down to sex.

And with nubly's threads, maybe that's what it DOES boil down to.

But I guess I just don't think it's that simple.

And you can't just wake up one day and not be interested. And I'm not sure you SHOULD until there's two rings on her finger.

I'm not advocating cheating... But if being the guy on the sidelines who steps in when a boyfriend and a girlfriend break up is wrong, then every relationship I've seen or admired, including my parents' is wrong. And if that's wrong then "right" would be a world where my best friend would be miserable and single, a world where I'd never be born.

I agree that cheating is wrong. But I think treating these things as black and white is also wrong.

There are shades of grey. And I don't think the only options have to be "walk away" or "tap that @$$". I think real, tactful, honest approaches can work these situations.

And I'm not sure I'd want to be in the kind of relationship that most people here consider to be healthy because it seems to treat both partners as eachother's property. And I don't think that should be the case until the wedding rings go on, if ever.

Relationships are negotiable. People should negotiate. Not CHEAT. But negotiate. Tactfully.

[Cotton]

I dunno. Choice B sounds awfully dangerous. There's risk of heart-break, incarceration, and bodily harm...

I'm not sure if "B" is stalking if he flat out asks her out. However, if he uses his friendship to scan for a possible opening in the relationship, it gets murkier.

Me? I'd probably just shuffle along hoping for an opening between relationships and ask her out in hopes she doesn't believe in the "friend zone".

I'm pretty hopelessly awkward and confused in these scenarios. Some girls want you to indicate interest, even if they're in a relationship, and dismiss you if you don't. Some girls may dismiss you as an option because you're friends. Some girls might be willing to pursue something down the road but would be offended if you say so much as say "Boo!" until they're single.

It seems like you'll have to make a judgment call here.

I was kidding...

But my point is, if you don't want to get hurt, don't play the game. Take into account she has a boyfriend already, what are your chances?

[Maleficentogre]

if you want to be with someone else LEAVE. cheating is one of the few things I'm black and white about. It's not about the sex.

[Ronald Bryan]

That means you're gay.
I once had a dream where I was gay.

[StoneGold]

I wish *I* could think like that but I've never dated and I've never encountered a single female who I was interested in who seemed interested in me.

Never underestimate a woman's ability to fuck with your head, or yours to completly misread her intentions, especially when she has a boyfriend.


Although, to paraphrase the perhaps the smartest thing Michael Scott has ever said on The Office, "BFD, dating ain't married. Never, ever ever give up."


Because when she ultimately rejects you, your personal breakdown will be funny to watch.

[Maleficentogre]

The office is a great show. both of 'em.

[tricksterpup]

You went to bed horney.. Get over it, its only a dream, dont over analyze it.

[Maleficentogre]

You went to bed horney.. Get over it, its only a dream, dont over analyze it.
That's probably the best reply in this thread.