Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't

[Buzz Dixon]

"When in doubt, whip it out."




































U.S. Army Paratrooper training advice for when one should deploy one's emergency parachute.

[Lester C.]

Cream Filled Taco has the dirtiest name in you can find on this forum and yet is a very clean humored gentlemen.

Oh and SK isn’t shorthand for skanky.

[Lester C.]

It's Cam 63 not 69.

[Lester C.]

Monkey Boy isn’t a masturbation reference.

[Lester C.]

Then again if you add the 6 and the 3 in Cam's name you get 9 + the 6 and you have 69. Confused yet. :evilsmile

[Cam63]

Lester rhymes with fester.

[Lester C.]

Lester rhymes with fester.

Lester also rhymes with molester as I’ve been reminded MANY times in my life. Each bastard thinks he’s the first one to sing Lester, Lester, the child molester. I ended up choking the bastard in my to do this which was acceptable and encouraged by all as we were sparing in my judo class.

[Lester C.]

MacQuarrie is not… I could get banned and smacked if I finish that last thought.

[Cam63]

I never thought of that.

[Lester C.]

Supersonic is not in reference to his stamina regarding performing activities of a sexual nature.

[Lester C.]

Don't use the word "spank" in front of the word "Yogo"

[Lester C.]

Simone has nothing to do with the erotic moaning of simians.

[Lester C.]

Pip is not an acronym. It doesn’t stand for pound it purple.

[Lester C.]

I'm starting to scare myself. I think I'm going to call it a day on this thread.

[Cam63]

Layer cake.

[Lester C.]

Layer cake.

pound cake.

[sk716]

Just for the sake of beating NightSwordsman to it:

Pudding Pop.

[Super Sonic]

Supersonic is not in reference to his stamina regarding performing activities of a sexual nature.

Damn, I was gonna say that.

[Cam63]

I think it may refer to his flatulence.

[Lester C.]

Shades0077 doesn’t wear shades because he was blinded after spanking his Yogo 77 times.

[Lester C.]

Okay now I'm done. I mean it this time.

[Cream Filled Taco]

Cream Filled Taco has the dirtiest name in you can find on this forum

I swear to you, my name was never meant to be dirty. Just the first thing that popped into my head when I needed a screen name ten years ago. Although there are quite a few people out there who have found more than one sleazy definition for it over the years. Some are completely opposite in meaning. But sometimes an inkblot is just an inkblot.


and yet is a very clean humored gentlemen.

Har! Now that's funny! I'm subtle...but in no way clean.

[Ogdred]

Clematis. It sounds like an STD, but it's a type of flower. I used to work at a library and, in the Spring, all the old ladies would talk about how their clematises were doing.

Doctor: Lovely day, isn't it, Mrs. Brown?
Old Lady: Indeed! My clematises are blooming!
Doctor: A shot of penicillin will clear that right up.

[Dark Galaxy]

Cream Filled Taco has the dirtiest name in you can find on this forum and yet is a very clean humored gentlemen.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA! *snort* HAHAHAHA!

HA!

You obviously aren't married to him.

[Rik Levins]

My parents encouraged me to masticate right in front of them.

[Briareos]

I once saw a Japanese movie called Mechanical Violator Hakkider

[Buzz Dixon]

My parents encouraged me to masticate right in front of them.
I trust you used a dental dam. :p

[YoGo]

Dan Slott's Thing.

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

"Use your magic bird!"
-from The Magical Voyage of Sinbad

[Shawn Hopkins]

I'm plagued by these. I think my mind is unclean.

I guess the best one I've seen lately is a restaraunt supply truck that had the slogan "Isn't it nice to eat out?"

Why yes. Yes it is.

[Buzz Dixon]

The two most painful names in show business: Peter Boyle and Micki Dickoff

[Ogdred]

Peter O'Toole has a double-phallic name.

[Larry Dixon]

And, of course, the urology department's favorite NASCAR driver, Dick Trickle.

[Larry Dixon]

(giftwraps a straightline or two for the smartalecs)

The roleplaying game "Dragonshard."

Yes, that's just how many of us like our dragons, thank you.

[Lester C.]

And, of course, the urology department's favorite NASCAR driver, Dick Trickle.

Larry Dixon also words if you say the last name fairly quickly.

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

I pity anyone out there named Dick Cox.

[Calamas]

Well, Archibald Cox is close.

[Calamas]

Entry-level position
Nutcracker
Pianist
Black ball
Cockpit

And that old standby:

Uranus

[the4thpip]

Squeezing a quarter pounder at the golden arches.

[TCJohnson]

Cream Filled Taco ... is a very clean humored gentlemen.


I like CFT, I would never say anthing aginst him except no....no he's not.

[Cam63]

And, of course, the urology department's favorite NASCAR driver, Dick Trickle.

He had really slow parents.

[Cam63]

I pity anyone out there named Dick Cox.

What about Dick Burns or Cox Zucker ?

[Cam63]

(giftwraps a straightline or two for the smartalecs)

The roleplaying game "Dragonshard."

Yes, that's just how many of us like our dragons, thank you.

What ?

No soft dragons ?

[jpk]

Philatelist: one who collects stamps.

Thespian: a stage actor/actress.

I here she's a thespian and a philatelist. How does that work?

[Cam63]

Thespians can do that if they choose.

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

What about Dick Burns or Cox Zucker ?

Pity all around, then!

[Lester C.]

Shades (0077) is not an acronym. It doesn't stand for

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c269/trigunfan1/condoms-m-SHADES.png

[Azrael52]

1. Free Willy
2. Free Gas Friday (say it really fast the way the radio announcer does on our local stations)
3. Meat Packer
4. Rearended
5. A great saying for when you smash your thumb or stump your toe: "Soak it in cyder." My dad was doing contractor work with our preacher years ago and said this. He had heard my grandma say it a hundred times and it never dawned on him what the hell it meant until our preacher said, "Do you realise what you just said?"

[Azrael52]

Liquor Liscense.

[Azrael52]

Our local B-Ball team: The Rimrockers.

[Sharpandpointies]

I think Robin Williams had a list of things that sound dirty, but aren't. Or was that Bowser and Blue? Can't remember.

Anyway, here's one.

Tethering the blimp.

[Lester C.]

I think Robin Williams had a list of things that sound dirty, but aren't. Or was that Bowser and Blue? Can't remember.

Anyway, here's one.

Tethering the blimp.

I think you may have been thrown or kicked in the head one two many times. :p I’m kidding. I would never tease a man that can kick my butt. Anyway as a side note I was thinking about you today because while reading up on choy La Fut kung fu.

[Buzz Dixon]

ANIMANIACS devoted an entire song to Lake Titicaca.

[Buzz Dixon]

And there's a dentist not far from where I lived named Knud Flyngryn.

[Cam63]

I still laugh at Lance Boyle and Misty Hymen.

[Sharpandpointies]

I think you may have been thrown or kicked in the head one two many times. :p I’m kidding. I would never tease a man that can kick my butt. Anyway as a side note I was thinking about you today because while reading up on choy La Fut kung fu.

You'll have to tell me if I can kick your butt. :) Never met you, so I don't know. But you could be right about that 'fallen on my head' thing.

If only it were true! My head is solid bone. But everyone keeps dropping me on my shoulder. ;_;

Thinking of joining up a Choy Lay Fut club (I've seen 10 different spellings of that, probably!)? Or just shopping around for a style?

Speaking of which, that puts another dirty phrase I sometimes use upon coming home from class.

"Got my ass whipped at the club today."

[thehod]

Paraphrased from Blackadder.

'Security' isn't a dirty word, Blackadder.
'Crevice' is a dirty word, but 'security' isn't.
'Job' is another dirty word, and`leak' is a positively disgusting word.

[Sharpandpointies]

"Areas. That's a dirty word."

"Areas isn't a dirty word."

"It is if you say it right. Arrrrreas. Aaaaarrreaaahhs. I touched my Aaaaarrreaaahhs. It rained, and now I have soggy...Aaaaarrreaaahhs."

"Oh that's disgusting!"

"Yep. And all for a quarter!"

-The Frantics
Done by memory, so forgive me if I quoted incorrectly.

[Lester C.]

Thinking of joining up a Choy Lay Fut club.

I’m giving it serious thought. The only thing that’s stopping me is that if I do join I’m going to have to radically alter my diet, weightlifting and cardio regimen. I’m a big believer in the concept that a person needs to sculpt his or her body to suit the discipline he or she has chosen to undergo. Of course there is only so much sculpting you can do as factors like how tall you are and how long your limbs are out of your control but luckily that’s not an issue for me unless I want to get humiliated on the basketball court.

Another thing that sounds dirty but isn’t would be term Avengers Assemble or Titans Together.

[Lubichev]

Rim Job.

no, wait. that is dirty.

Tossed Salad.

hmmm. again...........

Cream Pie.

i give up

[Sharpandpointies]

I’m giving it serious thought. The only thing that’s stopping me is that if I do join I’m going to have to radically alter my diet, weightlifting and cardio regimen. I’m a big believer in the concept that a person needs to sculpt his or her body to suit the discipline he or she has chosen to undergo. Of course there is only so much sculpting you can do as factors like how tall you are and how long your limbs are out of your control but luckily that’s not an issue for me unless I want to get humiliated on the basketball court.

Another thing that sounds dirty but isn’t would be term Avengers Assemble or Titans Together.

Out of curiousity, why Choy Lay Fut? Did you see something you liked? Check out a club and it really did something for you? I don't practice that style, and only know of it secondhand (never having actually taken a class or seminar in it). :)

Titans Together. Whoo, boy. Given what I've heard of that comic, the battlecry might just have them all pairing up and running for the back rooms. Or maybe just en masse.

[Shade]

Every time I'm in the store and I see yogurt that is labeled "Fruit on the Bottom" i giggle.

But I'm 12.

[Lester C.]

Out of curiousity, why Choy Lay Fut? Did you see something you liked? Check out a club and it really did something for you? I don't practice that style, and only know of it secondhand (never having actually taken a class or seminar in it). :)



As embarrassing as this is going to be to admit what got me interested is the fact that Adrian Paul, during an interview, said it was his martial art’s style and is the one he used in Highlander. I thought he said Charlie Foot, but once I learned the proper spelling I started reading up on it and have been liking what I’m reading. I fairly close to Chicago so once I get in the shape I want I shouldn’t have a problem finding a good school.

Speaking of finding a good martial arts school that could be a chapter in one of your books. I’ve made many mistakes and committed to various contracts until how I learned how to shop for a school. I think other people might be in the same boat I was.

[Sharpandpointies]

As embarrassing as this is going to be to admit what got me interested is the fact that Adrian Paul, during an interview, said it was his martial art’s style and is the one he used in Highlander. I thought he said Charlie Foot, but once I learned the proper spelling I started reading up on it and have been liking what I’m reading. I fairly close to Chicago so once I get in the shape I want I shouldn’t have a problem finding a good school.

Speaking of finding a good martial arts school that could be a chapter in one of your books. I’ve made many mistakes and committed to various contracts until how I learned how to shop for a school. I think other people might be in the same boat I was.

Embarassing? Pfft. I started Kung Fu because I liked Jademan comics (my parents put me in Judo, looong ago). Of course, I luckily ended up in a good school for what I wanted but still...whatever gets you going, man. :)

Charlie Foot. That would be a weird name for a Chinese Martial Art.

Finding a good martial art school is painful (as you seem to have discovered!). It takes a lot of shopping around, but there are a few things for which people should look out.

Note: All of these are 'chances are'. You can find good schools that do these things, but from what I've seen and heard it's pretty rare. Your Milage May Vary.

1. Contracts. The moment people start asking for 1 or 2 year contracts is when you should get wary. I mean, if they have to lock you in for that amount of time, chances are they're more after your money than anything else.

2. Excessive Belt Testing. If you end up spending your entire time getting your 3rd orange stripe of five on your yellow belt, chances are they're more after your money than anything else.

3. Schools that automatically dismiss all other styles as inferior with nothing good to offer.

4. Schools offering a 'black belt program' (see #1). You pay a flat sum and that tides you over until you get your black belt. A little suspicious, given that most people I've seen who did this sort of thing finished their 'black belt program' in under two years...and at that point, what exactly does it mean? And did they shuttle you through it quickly to get you paying again? Chance are they're after your...well, you know the drill. :)

In my opinion, the most important thing when you shop for a school is to have a REALLY good idea of what you want. Fighting ability? Fitness? Learning martial arts because they're cool? Learning a specific style because you're interested in that style? All good reasons, because your reason is a good reason for you. But, for example, a school that is perfect for fighting might be lousy for pure fitness, or not train you in what you want to learn.

You're right - I should put that in one of my books, I suppose. I have thrown in a bit of my training into my first two, and there's some in the one I'm working on now.... It's just tricky to know when something I put in advances the plot or characterization, or when it's just me being preachy. :)

[Azrael52]

S and P, what type of books do you write? Just curious.

Ok, here's one that sounds dirty but isn't: Give the dog a bone.

How about this: Coming up from the rear?

[Lester C.]

How about this: Coming up from the rear?

Ask Monkey Boy. ;)

[Lester C.]

Ask Monkey Boy. ;)

That sentence sounds dirty...but isn't.

[Sharpandpointies]

S and P, what type of books do you write? Just curious.


Fantasy. Sci-fi I'll get to in the future. :)

First two were for an RPG company - they contracted me to write some novels for their world. Bit of a story, that. Long story short, the first one suffered because their editor stank and my writing needed work. Plus, they used the cheapest possible printer who forgot to put italics where needed.

But I liked it, even if I wince when I try to read it now.

Second one was much better, though with what I've learned working on the current book I'd change a lot.

The current book is mine, not based on anything else, and is considerably longer than the first two. It's nearing completion - I'm on the final edit.

[Calamas]

Titans Together. Whoo, boy. Given what I've heard of that comic, the battlecry might just have them all pairing up and running for the back rooms. Or maybe just en masse.
No, that's The Outsiders.

[Night Swordsman]

Just for the sake of beating NightSwordsman to it:

Pudding Pop.

Mmmm Puddin'! =)

And to think i was STAYING AWAY from this thread!

And Calamas post above mine was #69.

(i REALLY am too shy to hang around the sex threads....too much blushing).

[howyadoin]

pound cake.But cleaning the icing out of your pubes is too much work.

[Cam63]

But cleaning the icing out of your pubes is too much work.

That's what showers are for.

[howyadoin]

That's what showers are for.You mean I can clean the icing and the sand out at the same time?

[Cam63]

Blood too, if yer gots it.

[Shawn Hopkins]

Giggled at a newspaper headline today. It said "In Praise of the Mighty Organ."

I guess the article was about organ music.

[Azrael52]

Cockeyed
Blackballed
Butterball
Gutterball
Ding Dong snack cakes
The Big Bang