Do Opposites Really Attract?

[Super Samurai]

Y'know the old saying that when it comes to dating, opposites attract. Do you think this is true and why?

[Cotton]

It could be true to extent, for example some people who are very proper and uptight are attracted to people who are not very proper and easy going, as a way to balance themselves I suppose.

[Aelo]

Yeah, It's true in some cases, but not in all.

[Gilda Dent]

I'm a medium height, thin, 29-year-old Japanese woman whose mother is a mail order bride. I'm a femme lesbian.

My wife is a short, thin 28-year-old Japanese woman whose mother is a mail order bride. She's a femme lesbian.

Same general age, ethnicity, sex, body type, family structure, manner of presentation. We appear to be same attracted to same.

I'm asocial with a complex set of social phobias and actively avoid casual social contact with other people. She's a social butterfly who loves being around other people and making new friends. I grew up in a fractured, dysfunctional family, perpetually disappointing my parents. She grew up with an intact, functional family that supported and nurtured her. My family has rejected me due to my sexuality. Hers accepts us both. I'm sexually submissive; she's sexually dominant. I'm a Christian. She's a Shinto Buddhist.

We appear to be attracted to differences.

Attraction is complimentary. Sometimes that means finding something in a partner that makes up for our own deficiencies, sometimes that means finding someone whose interests match ours in a complimentary way--such as a sub with a domme. Sometimes that means having shared interests, values, culture, history. Sometimes it's about being attracted to a quality that we find lacking in ourselves and need to borrow from our partner. I get to lean on Emily for the strength I lack.

It depends on how you define the quality. Sometimes its opposites, sometimes it's similarities.

Gilda

[Trystenn]

Depends, its so complicated, ya opposites attract and all that, but there must be simalarities.

[i_mmmchocolate]

I say no. My parents are proof. Then again, it depends.

[Ayo]

There are about six billion people in the world. Everything about human nature is at once true and false.

[blackdragon6]

for me HELL NAW!!!.i have a verry hard time getting along with people who are absolutly nothing like me.so i sure as hell won't have a friend thats different from me,let alone a girl friend

[Punchy]

Some people have already hit it on the head. If opposites are attracted to each other (like my wife and I) it's because they see something in the other person that they would like themselves to be.

[kmeyers]

If it's true, why does Bizarro fight Superman so much?

...maybe it does make sense.

[Wesley Dodds]

I think my Jane Austin theory of relationships is more important.

In Jane Austin books, the heroine only meets three men in her life, and one of them's her father, but she still manages to find true love.

Or: the fewer men you know, the more likely you are to fall in love.

So, girls who date lots of boys won't be as likely to, because they have a lot more experience with them. The Jane Austin girl goes "Well, Mr. Blitherbangs is quite repugnant, but Mr. Hopewood is a dream, like father." While the club girl goes "I don't know, I'd say Steve is about... 5% better than Andrew, although he's 3.5% behind Alex."

Anyway.

Opposites attract? Actually, I think there are two different kinds of relationships: ones predicated on similarity and ones predicated on difference. Or: Mary-Jane or the Black Cat?

Now, Mary-Jane is a party girl while Peter Parker's a bookworm. They're very different people, so they can only have a relationship where their lives touch -- Mary-Jane can't follow Peter into his job as Spider-Man and neither can Peter enter her world of fashion models and the beautiful people. But with the Black Cat, she's a superhero (actually, I like Firestar better for Spidey), so they can share their work.

See Walk The Line? That's what I'm talking about. Johnny Cash's music was so important to him he had to be with someone who shared that passion. It was what his entire life was about.

Now, I'd prefer a Black Cat I could share my work with -- so, it would have to be someone with my kind of politics. I think Mike Smash has that kind of relationship -- someone you can fight the good fight with. Or Felicity Kendal and Paul Eddington on The Good Life.

But if you're a different kind of person, you might prefer a relationship with someone who really does occupy a different sphere. I think it's a more "romantic" relationship. The kind of relationship Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy had.

[PatrickG]

Interesting.

I'm horrified by the notion of a Mary Jane or a Black Cat.

I think I'd prefer a parallel universe co-worker. I protect my earth, she protects hers; we come home... and can relate without doing everything exactly the same way.

I don't want a partner who acts as support... and I don't necessarily want a partner who's a partner in everything. I want a fellow fully formed individual who I can relate TO without having to relate WITH on everything.

I've been told my standards are impossibly high. This is another example.

[Wesley Dodds]

Interesting.

I'm horrified by the notion of a Mary Jane or a Black Cat.

I think I'd prefer a parallel universe co-worker. I protect my earth, she protects hers; we come home... and can relate without doing everything exactly the same way.

I don't want a partner who acts as support... and I don't necessarily want a partner who's a partner in everything. I want a fellow fully formed individual who I can relate TO without having to relate WITH on everything.

I've been told my standards are impossibly high. This is another example.

I call 'em "Black Cats" because Spidey dated her for a while, but in honour of "Spider-Man Loves Mary-Jane" I guess I should start calling 'em "Firestars". Firestar's not just some nympho, she's intelligent and independent.

Your "parallel Universe co-worker" would be a Mary-Jane. The idea of a Firestar is that you work together to fight crime. A "Mary-Jane" relationship would be where you're both in politics, but you're a Democrat and she's a Republican. So, you can relate to her, but your work is still your own.

Of course, some Firestars are just "Tinkerbells" who diminuate themselves for the sake of a boyfriend who won't grow up. No, be a "Wendy", tell him to get his arse in gear. Geeze.

[kmeyers]

Opposites attract? Actually, I think there are two different kinds of relationships: ones predicated on similarity and ones predicated on difference. Or: Mary-Jane or the Black Cat?



what happens when the girl in the Black Cat suit has Mary Jane tendencies?

[Paul McEnery]

She gets stoned.

[Trystenn]

She gets stoned.
Like a certain Sharon we all know of?

[Tish-the-Scorpion]

for me HELL NAW!!!.i have a verry hard time getting along with people who are absolutly nothing like me.so i sure as hell won't have a friend thats different from me,let alone a girl friendsame here,if i'm with someone who's opposite of me i'm obviously just with them for sex lol

[Trystenn]

same here,if i'm with someone who's opposite of me i'm obviously just with them for sex lol
You know, what trips me out is that technically men and women are opposite, so i guess that answers this question.