i usually dont talk much about personal stuff

[thik_3rd]

but my dad just died. i got a phone call from the nursing home he'd been staying at the past few months, he died at 1:08 am this morning. i'm really in shock right now, i haven't begun to cry or anything and that makes me feel worse. am i being to cold and distant about my own dad's death? i just saw him today and he seemed no better or worse than any time in the past few months when he was in and out of the hospital for the past year plus. i feel so bad because i'm not crying for him but worrying more about the plans i'm going to have to cancel for tomorrow and how i'm going to handle his personal affairs and how i'm going to tell my grandma. i'm going to go over to her house shortly with my aunt and wake her up and tell her her second oldest son just died. over the next day i'm going to have to get in contact with my mother who i haven't spoken to in 11 months and tell her he died. life is precious. he was 1 month shy of his 57th birthday.

[thik_3rd]

i might not be on much for a bit.

[tangentman]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, thik. Please don't beat yourself up because you haven't cried. The tears eventually come--your dad's death is still new, and it's natural to feel detached at first. Calling your mom is a good idea, and I hope that you have plenty of support you can immediately draw from where you live.

[Jeff Brady]

My condolences, thik.

I don't think it's a good idea to wake up your grandmother. Let her sleep well tonight. She's going to have enough bad nights ahead of her.

[kmeyers]

sorry to hear it, man.

best wishes.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

You have my condolences on the loss of your father . Wow...1 month shy of 57 ? Thats young. I couldn't imagine a man that young in a nursing home. Boggles my mind.

Your not a bad person. Your just in shock. Thats it for the most part.

[Sir Tim Drake]

You have my sincere condolences, thik. I wish you and your family the best in this awful time.

[thik_3rd]

My condolences, thik.

I don't think it's a good idea to wake up your grandmother. Let her sleep well tonight. She's going to have enough bad nights ahead of her.
yeah we decided to over around 6 when she wakes up.

[Jeff Brady]

Also, please don't feel bad about not crying. It was months before it finally hit me that my grandfather died. One day I was talking about him and BAM, the waterworks started.

[SteelTownr]

Thik,

My condolences.

I lost my Father at a young age and a lot sooner than he should have gone as well.


Like you, I didn't cry for a long while. I felt like I had to be strong for my Mother. She'd plenty tough, but it was how I chose to deal with it at the time.

Hang in there, Buddy. If you want someone to listen, send me a PM.

Mark B.

[JadeDragon]

God bless you. And God bless the spirit of your father.

You will eventually feel that loss and probably be shocked at how strong it hits you. Its a reminder of your own mortality and I hope that perspective gives you some sense of peace and understanding about this nature of reality we share.

Namaste~~~JadeDragon

[Noir_Dark]

Grieving;
Don’t worry about it- it will happen without any effort.

My Dad died last year of a sudden heart attack. He was 58. I think that you will find the ordeal will leave much stronger and a hell of a lot wiser. The thing that helped me the most was taking on the burden of the funeral and all business parts of his death. This freed up the rest of my family to mourn uninterrupted as well as gave me the opportunity to understand and accept his death. It’s been profound and humbling
I’ve grown a century in one year.

My condolences.

[Samurai]

So sorry to hear that... don't worry about the crying, you are just in a state of shock. My mom passed away last year, so I know what you're going through. My best to you and your family.

[Brandon Hanvey]

My condolences, thik.

[Tages]

You'll be in my prayers.

[Greg Blackman]

Really sorry to hear your bad news thik. My sincere condolences to you and your family. May whatever you believe in give you strength and courage in teh dark days ahead.

[Davideaux]

I'm sorry for your loss, thik.

[Cyke]

I'm sorry about your loss, but you have my best wishes and my heartfelt sorrow.

[west3man]

I'm sorry, thik.

My paternal grandfather died, last year, and there were times that I felt bad about what I DIDN'T feel... because he and I were strangers.

In the end, his passing kinda brought some members from that side of the family closer together. I now have a relationship with people (on that side of the family) I hadn't had a conversation with in 15-20 years.

Maybe that would've pleased him. I dunno.


If you ever wanna talk, drop me an e-line.

[The Mirrorball Man]

My condolences thik. My Dad died when he was 52, and I'm still grieving him. Don't let anyone tell you how you should feel or that the way you behave is not adequate.

[Violently Apathetic]

I am sorry for your loss, and to reiterate what has been said, people grieve differently, there's no need to feel guilty about your feelings.

[Indigo Al]

Ditto to all the sentiments here thik - just make sure you take care of yourself as well as your loved ones.

[Rae Rodriguez]

I'm very sorry for your loss, thik.
My father died 18 years ago come November, it never gets any easier.
My thoughts are with you.

[Puma]

my deepest sympathies. My Mom passed on last year, it wasn't sudden so I had time to prepare. Don't feel bad that you haven't cried yet, you will...and you'll rage...and you'll remember, let the emotions happen when they do but don't try to keep them in. It isn't healthy for you or for those around you. Be well.

[Brian Cronin]

Terribly sorry, thik.

My condolences.

-Brian

[Guapo Méndez]

My condolences, man. Hang in there.

[Fenris]

I'm so sorry, Thik.

[tempestuousepulchre]

my condolences. It's probably for the best that the tears haven't come yet...they'll come when you're more suited to deal with them.

[thik_3rd]

thanks y'all. been pretty busy since.

[Forefinger]

I'm sorry for your loss. Grieve at your own pace, but you should try to actually get over the sadness instead of just covering it up.

[Julie Hatcher]

Sorry for your loss. Been exactly where you are, I didn't cry much either when my dad died. When you have to do much of the adult work for such sad times, I found that I was holding back to "be strong for others". Tears will flow when you least expect them and they will flow hard but don' beat yourself up. Grieving process is different for all. But I know for sure that you will always, to some extent, grieve the loss of that person.