My hellboy one-shot story

[DannyBoy7783]

This is almost not even worth posting but I had kind of a cool idea for a Hellboy short story...

Disclaimer: if anyone finds the idea offensive I apologize but I doubt it considering all the other crazy stuffy Hellboy has gotten himself into already.

Hellboy is called upon by the Pope to investigate a Roman Cult that is stirring up trouble for the Catholic Church. Hellboy goes and vists the cult and at first they appear fairly ordinary. Left alone momentarily Hellboy slips off and starts doing some investigating and uncovers some really strange stuff but before he can make radio contact with the BPRD he gets beaned over the head pretty good. The Roman Cult, thinking Hellboy is Jesus, try to crucify him to prevent the second coming of Christ. They have him up and nailed but can't seem to get his right hand of doom nailed up (I imagine a somewhat humorous scene where they just tie it up with rope as a last resort). At this point Hellboy wakes up and starts to do his thing and knocks them all out. Perhaps a few lines like "You crazy zeus-lovin' freaks! what the heck are you doing!". Hellboy gets down from the cross they cobbled together and gets the documents he found and high tails it out of there and reports back to the Pope who tells Hellboy he'll deal with it. You then see a special squad of those fancy dressed vatican guards assemble at the close of the story in order to deal with the cult. I would imagine a cover image of Hellboy with a crown of thorns on the cross would be almost manditory.

[Myron L]

They think Hellboy is Jesus ???? Uhm....

[DannyBoy7783]

They think Hellboy is Jesus ???? Uhm....

You are honestly going to tell me that this is weirder than anything else we've seen already? :p

Oh well, thanks for at least reading my idea.

[Ken O]

Would have commented earlier when I saw short story in the title I thought it was a whole story and would take some time to read. Intresting idea though, not sure who would mistake a bright red demon for Jesus.

[DannyBoy7783]

I was thinking more like they think Jesus is disguised in the form of Hellboy. I mean, obviously they look nothing alike. :)

[Petersen]

I would axe the whole bit about the pope and jesus. Hellboy worked for the BPRD not the vatican. And I'm with T-wyrm....mistaking HB for santa is one thing, for Jesus is just silly.

However, there are some good elements....crucifiction could work. It was a typical method of exicution for the 'worst' offenders of law. I'm sure with some good resarch, a story could shape up. But it takes careful research, having hellboy look for something and find something doesn't cut it

crown of thorns is a nice visual

[DannyBoy7783]

I would axe the whole bit about the pope and jesus. Hellboy worked for the BPRD not the vatican. And I'm with T-wyrm....mistaking HB for santa is one thing, for Jesus is just silly.

However, there are some good elements....crucifiction could work. It was a typical method of exicution for the 'worst' offenders of law. I'm sure with some good resarch, a story could shape up. But it takes careful research, having hellboy look for something and find something doesn't cut it

crown of thorns is a nice visual

I think you guys are being a bit critical. Hellboy has been close to a number of priests and it is conceivable that the Pope could be aware of his "unique" services. Who is to say that the BPRD doesn't lend its agents out to the Vatican in the interest of good relations?

Also, "look for something and find something" is a general theme in his one issue stories. He shows up somewhere, some stuff happens, story ends. They don't have a lot of set up or length and c'mon, give me a break it's not like I have the entire script for the issue written out. If Mignola posted here and was like "wow, DannyBoy7783, great story, write it up for me so we can colaborate" I would obviously be more detailed and think it out more. :p

Petersen, I think you make my point quite well: if he could be mistaken for Santa I think being mistaken for Jesus is JUST as believable.

[Ken O]

I think you guys are being a bit critical. Hellboy has been close to a number of priests and it is conceivable that the Pope could be aware of his "unique" services. Who is to say that the BPRD doesn't lend its agents out to the Vatican in the interest of good relations?


Check out On Earth as it is in Hell. ;)

[DannyBoy7783]

Check out On Earth as it is in Hell. ;)

I haven't read any of the books, just the comics. I just went to Amazon.Com and read their synopsis.

"Angels have attacked the Vatican, destroying an entire floor of the building's precious library. That's a new one, even for the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense. The BPRD dispatches Hellboy and his amphibious colleague, Abe Sapien, to investigate."

*ahem*

[Petersen]

Not to persist, but there is a difference. In your scenerio, HB is doing a favor for the pope to investigate people...(I know you mentioed a cult, but people nonetheless)

In that book synposis, HB is sent after Angels attack the vatican...there is a supernatural occurance. I suppose the roman cult of yours could summon something up, but I don't see the need to bring the pope into your story..it's not being used as a plot device.

and while the shorter stories don't have as much setup, the corpse, is set around HB trying to retrieve a baby, which helps form the reason for the story.

I'm not trying to be harsh at all, just raising my hand and saying "I like this bit, I think that bit needs work"

[DannyBoy7783]

As I said, I haven't read the story but I would image Hellboy wouldn't have been allowed to set foot inside of the Vatican without the Pope's approval at the least and more than likely his request otherwise the BPRD would have just let the Church handle it themselves, no?

It would appear I need to flesh this out a bit more: 1973. The Vatican contacts the BPRD because of local rumors about a strange cult lurking within the city. Unable to discover the truth themselves, they call upon the services of Hellboy and his team to hopefully uncover what exactly is going on.

HB talks to some locals and slowly begins to gather information in addition to what little the Church had already gathered. He is given an address and meeting time by a cult member in disguise. Hellboy trails the cult member who returns to the address HB was given. Hellboy returns and enters at the time he was told to. He finds himself inside a small museum of religious artifacts which is actually a front for the cult. After the curator introduces himself he is called away briefly and HB is left alone. At this point he slips through a door and into a backroom. The room is filled with artifacts and old books and such. HB is sort of milling around investigating what he can trying to look for anything suspicious eventually making it to another room where a ceremony of some sort (details to be filled in later) is being performed. While watching, HB is hit across the head by the curator. Hellboy wakes up to find himself up on a cross with his right hand tied up to one end. The museum curator explains that he cans see through Hellboy's disguise, that he can see the false god: Christ. The curator says that he can't allow him to live because the Old Gods, the True Gods, must be allowed to return. Just as one of the cult members is about to stab his side he tears his right hand free. He grabs the spear and throws it across the room. He pulls himself free of the cross and beats the crap out of the cult members. He makes his way out of the museum, grabbing some documents on the way out. He hightails it out of there so he can inform the Pope that he has uncovered the cult. The Pope then assembles a spec ops squad of the Vatican guards to "cleanse" the museum. The End.

More or less the same as earlier but with a bit more detail.

[E. Spears]

I think it sounds pretty sweet. i digs it.

-ers